As if I haven't had enough of baseball this year, a mother's love in never ending! When I arrived back in the states from our trip to Mexico, T texted and asked when he was with me for our week of vacation. He wanted to go to the Little League World Series in Williamsport, Pennsylvania.
Seeing that the return from my vacation with MS butted up to the weekend of respite of fostering and then my father's funeral, I told T to do some research. While he did some, the brunt of the research was done by...me. I spent this past weekend looking into hotel options and distance and juggling of my work schedule.
Effective today, I will be taking off Friday and Monday to take T to the Little League World Series. Tonight we booked a hotel for Friday and Saturday night nearby and a hotel en route home for Sunday night. I am sure we will pack up the car on Thursday night and head east, no need to make anymore plans or pack until the very last minute. T and I have a bowling marathon to tend to tomorrow and Wednesday I hope to get together with some friends out of town. I plan on working a full day Thursday. We will plan on stopping at my parent's Thursday night - two hours closer to Williamsport.
I am looking forward to the last minute getaway weekend with T before school starts. While I hope we do more than watch five games of baseball, at least it will be better than the constant games we have been watching on t.v.! I love last minute improv getways! Cheers to adventure!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Fostering Respite
MS and I arrived back to the airport just before midnight on Thursday night. I stayed the night at MS' house and woke early to shower and head home. I went grocery shopping for the weekend in preparation of respite with a 7 year old and 4 year old. I raced home and put away the groceries, unpacked and started laundry. I went and picked up T from his dad's and got back home in time for the foster children to arrive at 1p.m.
The weekend was a great time! I enjoyed having the children in the home, although T was going out of his mind with the 7 year old that was annoying him beyond belief. I tried to give him some space of his own as the kids and I walked to a park on two of the days, visiting three different parks. We also enjoyed bowling, an indoor pool center, numerous movies, games and activities.
On the first day we painted nails although the 7 year old decided she didn't want hers painted and did mine instead. The 4 year old was ecstatic to have his finger and toes painted. His older sister proclaimed that he wasn't "allowed" to have them painted because "mom and dad" wouldn't allow it, so of course I painted them! I did take off the polish before he went back to the foster home on Sunday, but the little guy loved them and had fun picking out a different color for each nail!
I forgot how much energy it takes to parent young children! I did my best to keep them on the sleep schedule, but honestly I wasn't very successful. Obviously a different home and different sleep arrangements were difficult for the kids. The 4 year old fell asleep watching a movie in my lap both nights. He woke the first night several times throughout the night with the last time being 2a.m.! Both kids were up between 5-6:00a.m. both mornings! So my 3.5 hours of sleep average wasn't a great plan, but luckily short-term! I didn't love the fact that the kids wanted blueberry pancakes and after making them at 6:30a.m. and neither wanted to eat them! Oh well. Plan B.
The 4 year old was a serious cuddle bug. I loved being active with the kids. The 4 year old loved helping me do dishes and around the house. The 7 year old had issues with entertaining herself and was often "bored" so she found T to annoy! I was sad to see the kids leave and I think they weren't ready to go - which was fabulous as neither of us wore out our welcome!
Respite definitely works the best for us. We don't have to worry about childcare, can help out other foster families and can enjoy the benefits of children while offering them stability and opportunity too!
The weekend was a great time! I enjoyed having the children in the home, although T was going out of his mind with the 7 year old that was annoying him beyond belief. I tried to give him some space of his own as the kids and I walked to a park on two of the days, visiting three different parks. We also enjoyed bowling, an indoor pool center, numerous movies, games and activities.
On the first day we painted nails although the 7 year old decided she didn't want hers painted and did mine instead. The 4 year old was ecstatic to have his finger and toes painted. His older sister proclaimed that he wasn't "allowed" to have them painted because "mom and dad" wouldn't allow it, so of course I painted them! I did take off the polish before he went back to the foster home on Sunday, but the little guy loved them and had fun picking out a different color for each nail!
I forgot how much energy it takes to parent young children! I did my best to keep them on the sleep schedule, but honestly I wasn't very successful. Obviously a different home and different sleep arrangements were difficult for the kids. The 4 year old fell asleep watching a movie in my lap both nights. He woke the first night several times throughout the night with the last time being 2a.m.! Both kids were up between 5-6:00a.m. both mornings! So my 3.5 hours of sleep average wasn't a great plan, but luckily short-term! I didn't love the fact that the kids wanted blueberry pancakes and after making them at 6:30a.m. and neither wanted to eat them! Oh well. Plan B.
The 4 year old was a serious cuddle bug. I loved being active with the kids. The 4 year old loved helping me do dishes and around the house. The 7 year old had issues with entertaining herself and was often "bored" so she found T to annoy! I was sad to see the kids leave and I think they weren't ready to go - which was fabulous as neither of us wore out our welcome!
Respite definitely works the best for us. We don't have to worry about childcare, can help out other foster families and can enjoy the benefits of children while offering them stability and opportunity too!
Mexico & "The Ring"
As I blogged here about whether or not MS would propose and being convinced that he wouldn't, I did find it somewhat awkward the night before we left that when checking-in online to our flight he inadvertently typed his last name as mine. I brushed it off. Unfortunately, we weren't able to get seats together on our flight from Detroit to Cancun. We booked them anyway and I figured we would talk to the gate agent in the morning before our three hour delay to see if we could switch seats.
We got up at 4:00a.m. and made it to the airport and arrived in Detroit without issue. We walked the terminal to our gate to inquire about changing seats. Surprisingly a second agent (the first told us to come back an hour before our flight) asked us where we were flying to and offered that if we wanted to fly through Atlanta she would put us in first class and we would only arrive 48 minutes later. After convincing MS it was a good idea and he would still be able to get breakfast before boarding our flight to Atlanta we made the change and each received a $400 flight credit to use in the future! BONUS! See, another contribution I made to the trip! ;)
We arrived in Cancun and did exactly what we were advised not to...we talked with the timeshare people and booked a tour. For our $40 good faith deposit we were ensured of a 90 minute presentation at a nearby resort, two bottles of tequila, two tickets for a 6 hour party boat of deep sea fishing and discounts of 2-1 passes for attractions (particularly para sailing). We figured well worth 90 minutes. Of course when we went to have our hotel concierge staff to call our free taxi, they refused and sent a manager to discuss with us the intricate details of our "tour" proclaiming we would be forced to stay for 4-6 hours. He offered that if we toured our resort for 2 hours he would compensate us with two bottles of tequila, $40 deposit refund and $100 to put toward the fishing expedition. After three separate negotiations (him going to speak to a supervisor - or himself) he finally agreed to the tequila, the deposit, free internet/telephone calls for the remainder of our stay, and $250 credit (the cost of the deep sea fishing). Since we had missed the last arrival time for the booked tour, we took the offer of our resort. Fortunately, our sales person was hung over from the previous night's company party and was starving. He asked if we were interested in purchasing, we said "no" and he asked if we minded joining him for breakfast. We did ask to tour the upscale casitas and our sales pitch was over in less than 54 minutes! What a blessing! BONUS!
MS has a thing for turtles. So he purchased a couple memento turtles while we were in Playa del Carmen. In addition, he was excited to participate in a paint-a-pot activity that was near the pool at the resort every day. The day I learned my father had passed (with our free internet access pass), we had plans to paint. It was actually a very good diversion that I didn't have to hold it together too much and was able to focus on painting and not have to be "happy". I wasn't really sure what I wanted to paint, but opted for a plate. With the help of the guy that sells the plates - he puts back in the clear black lines and added some birds and the small bushes in the desert, the plate looked pretty awesome when it was done!
Anyone who knows me, should know that I have a slight issue with motion. Dramamine is my friend. I knew that I would need dramamine before our deep sea fishing adventure. MS however, he loves to fish and boat. Our boat for the fishing expedition had two crew, MS and I and a group of three men. The fumes from the exhaust were pretty awful and fortunately I was doing well dealing with the uneasiness of the boat along with the smell. I even managed to do OK after MS asked for dramamine, reeled in a "bait fish" and managed to hurl over the side before he ever got the dramamine open. He went into the cabin where he laid his head down on the table and remained the rest of the "three hour tour" (oh wait, that was Gilligan's island - but pretty much the same!). I knew that I had no interest in standing to real in a fish, so I just sat on the back of the boat and watched. When the youngest of the men, a son in his late teens/early twenties who also rejected reeling in a fish, leaned over board and lost his marbles, that was too much for me. I, on the other side of the boat, got sick too. Not only did I get sick once, I managed to get sick a second time simultaneously with the father of the young man. Yes, four of the five of us on the boat, were sick. Unfortunately it didn't help the crew and the one healthy passenger - a retired navy person of 27 years - to catch more fish! We headed in a little early as the fish were few and we weren't feeling well. Fortunately MS and I didn't pay $250 for the adventure, so we weren't so bothered by our ill fortune.
On several vacations, I have purchased rings. Granted the last few have been less than $8 each, but a ring that I fancy no less. I had full intention of purchasing a "real" ring of sorts this trip. MS had offered to buy me a ring. I wasn't sure exactly what the offer entailed - cost or intention - so rather than inquire, I pretty much ignored the offer. While we looked around Playa del Carmen, I was looking at rings that were rather expensive. I was considering another ring similar to the ring I purchased in Colorado (which after 18 months a stone fell out during dinner on this vacation. So lucky!), but decided I wanted different "bling". I negotiated a fantastic deal and I bought a beautiful ring. After our trip MS had said he did want to buy me a ring - but seeing that I negotiated a deal for cash, he didn't have that kind of cash on him. MS wasn't a fan of the ring I picked thinking that it is WAY too big, but I LOVE it and that is all that matters (although he has been gazing at it and inspecting it on several occasions!)!
MS and I went on a kayaking tour the morning after Playa. We had originally planned on taking the shuttle to Cancun for the day, but opted not to as we had our boating adventure and Playa del Carmen the night before. Since we had purchased souvenirs - MS his turtles and me my ring - we didn't see a reason to check out Cancun. So we had fun participating in activities at the resort. We started off with the kayaking and I managed well without dramamine; however, MS didn't fare as well. My competitive edge found me near the instructor while MS was way behind the last kayaker. When we reached an area to look for fish, I asked MS if he was OK, which he replied NO. He reported that his hips were cramping and he wasn't able to sit in the kayak comfortably. Fortunately the tour was only an hour and he managed to survive!
The vacation was a great escape. I was saddened to learn of my father's passing, but glad to have MS there to comfort me and a good distraction of Mexico. We enjoyed fabulous dining experiences at the restaurants at the resort. My favorite was de Italia. While the resort, El Dorado Royale is voted one of the number one honeymoon resorts in the world, I think I enjoyed Iberostar more as we weren't on a honeymoon. I never received the same drink twice, despite ordering the same. The nightly entertainment was also definitely lacking, but MS and I had a great time and a wonderful vacation. I am definitely looking forward to more vacations and memories with MS.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
My Father's Passing
My father passed away in the early morning hours of August 6, 2011. As I had dreamed weeks earlier, my father passed while I was on vacation.
The plan was that he would begin to wean from the Primacor IV on Monday, August 8, 2011. He had stopped taking all of his medications. He had said his peace and was ready to die. He was ready to stop fighting. He passed in the night while still on the Primacor.
I learned of his passing by an email from my uncle. MS and I had been given free internet access at the resort in Mexico on Tuesday, August 8, 2011. I never did hear directly from his wife as I had expected. She and I shared several emails about the memorial. We shared a few words at the memorial. I doubt that she and I will ever speak again.
The night before the memorial service, I met with TS, LL, my brother and sister-in-law at one of my dad's favorite location to give one cheer and toast in his honor. As we toasted and I looked up at the bar, this is what I saw:
The plan was that he would begin to wean from the Primacor IV on Monday, August 8, 2011. He had stopped taking all of his medications. He had said his peace and was ready to die. He was ready to stop fighting. He passed in the night while still on the Primacor.
I learned of his passing by an email from my uncle. MS and I had been given free internet access at the resort in Mexico on Tuesday, August 8, 2011. I never did hear directly from his wife as I had expected. She and I shared several emails about the memorial. We shared a few words at the memorial. I doubt that she and I will ever speak again.
The night before the memorial service, I met with TS, LL, my brother and sister-in-law at one of my dad's favorite location to give one cheer and toast in his honor. As we toasted and I looked up at the bar, this is what I saw:
MAY YOU BE IN HEAVEN AN HOUR BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEAD
How fitting. Rest in Peace Dad. Much love and until we meet again...
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
My Father's Final Days
I have just spent the past hour or two going through my life, 36 years of photos. Unfortunately, it didn't take long. Growing up, my parents took many pictures. They were developed into slides. One of my favorite memories was having my parents set up the slide projector onto the screen or wall in the living room and sitting on the floor or couch cradling a bowl of popcorn and watching various reels of pictures. My dad had always talked about one day turning all of the slides into a DVD to capture all the memories. To my knowledge, that never happened. I have a small photo album of various pictures from infancy to graduation. The slides were destroyed in my mom's house fire in 1996.
I received an email this morning, August 1, 2011, updating of my father's welfare. He has refused all medication except the Primacor IV. As his wife had purchased enough full strength IV to last through August 2, 2011, I anticipate that he will begin the weaning process on August 3, 2011. He will wean for approximately three days and pass approximately two days thereafter. As I had anticipated from my dream weeks back, I will likely be in Mexico when he passes. Everything happens for a reason.
I posted this in December, after dealing with an array of emotions from saying goodbye to my father in early November and dealing with family drama. I posted this when my father turned 65 in early June. I didn't specifically post after my most recent visit to see my father on July 21 and 22, 2011. The most recent visits, I told my father I loved him and said bye, no longer the formal goodbye as I did in November, but still with tears in my eyes and sadness in my heart. Losing someone, regardless of the circumstances is never easy and involves many mixed emotions, even if truly a blessing.
As I have blogged about so many times before, my father and I are not very close. I make no excuses, I place no blame. It is what it is. I love my father. It is sad to realize that I have less than two dozen pictures of my father, many without me in them, over the past 36 years. Pictures down memory lane...but I don't need pictures to recall the memories. The memories to last a lifetime.
May you go peacefully dad. May your last few days be as free of pain and as comfortable and peaceful as possible. Until we meet again...I love you.
I received an email this morning, August 1, 2011, updating of my father's welfare. He has refused all medication except the Primacor IV. As his wife had purchased enough full strength IV to last through August 2, 2011, I anticipate that he will begin the weaning process on August 3, 2011. He will wean for approximately three days and pass approximately two days thereafter. As I had anticipated from my dream weeks back, I will likely be in Mexico when he passes. Everything happens for a reason.
I posted this in December, after dealing with an array of emotions from saying goodbye to my father in early November and dealing with family drama. I posted this when my father turned 65 in early June. I didn't specifically post after my most recent visit to see my father on July 21 and 22, 2011. The most recent visits, I told my father I loved him and said bye, no longer the formal goodbye as I did in November, but still with tears in my eyes and sadness in my heart. Losing someone, regardless of the circumstances is never easy and involves many mixed emotions, even if truly a blessing.
As I have blogged about so many times before, my father and I are not very close. I make no excuses, I place no blame. It is what it is. I love my father. It is sad to realize that I have less than two dozen pictures of my father, many without me in them, over the past 36 years. Pictures down memory lane...but I don't need pictures to recall the memories. The memories to last a lifetime.
May you go peacefully dad. May your last few days be as free of pain and as comfortable and peaceful as possible. Until we meet again...I love you.
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| Tampa Florida: November 2010 |
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