I think it's common for most bloggers and readers to feel a certain relationship and attachment to other bloggers, even without ever meeting them. My blog is mainly anonymous, although some close to me are aware and even read; however, many people that know me don't read my blog. Does that mean they know me less than blog readers?
Over the last few weeks, I've been going though a variety of things. One of them was my new found interest in becoming a foster parent. This opens a whole can of worms based on my current employer, my position and "Conflict of Interest" clauses. While it isn't impossible for me to become licensed, the requirements specifically for me to avoid conflict of interest would not be in my personal best interest (i.e. distance, location, time...). I discarded the idea; however, I felt discriminated against based on my current job title/position.
I also began dating again. I've met one person from a free online weekend. I have met no one from actually subscribing to eHarmony, which personally, I can't stand the website, the layout or anything about the site. That obviously comes from someone who has dabbled with online dating for the past decade. Sigh...that's sad. Anyway...I went out with this person again last night, being the third time.
I'm not going to go into the details and obviously dating is a case by case basis. And maybe it's about following that "gut instinct". It isn't that I don't trust him, but my past few dating experiences, if you call them that, may have left a bad taste in my mouth. There are also some read flags I have with this guy in the sense of time since his divorce, age of kids, amount of kids and most of all the annoying way he sticks out his tongue when he laughs. Yes, I may be THAT shallow. He has asked me on numerous times where I live, I have not divulged. Not for any specific reason per se, I just didn't see it necessary. I have nothing to hide. I don't have a boyfriend or a spouse that I would need to hide things in my house if the new guy came over. I just also don't see any reason to share at this point. Last night, I went to his house for the first time. As the night was drawing toward an end, he asked if he could ask me a question. He asked, "Do you want to meet my kids?" Sigh...
Most of the time, I really do love kids, if I allow myself. I told him it was way too soon. Obviously with our parenting schedules, if I don't meet them, it will be almost two weeks until we see each other again (after Friday). He doesn't want to wait that long. I don't want to rush with the kid thing just because of time constraints and schedules. He also went on again about how I wasn't willing to tell him where I live. I invited him to the town I live on Friday and agreed to meet him at my work - which he knows where that is, general vicinity at least. He found that odd. I found it convenient as I will be working until he gets into town and our plans are on that side of town. But, is there more reason that that?
The other night after dinner with my son, I realized I didn't have my keys. I had locked them in the car, still sitting in the ignition. What to do? Who to call? Who do I call? Can I have someone go to my house, get my spare key into my house and then grab my spare car keys? Who do I trust? Who can I ask? Who would actually do this? I felt lost. Lost that I'm not trusting enough. Lost that I don't want to inconvenience anyone with my misfortune. Could I call a tow-truck? My insurance number was...in the car! I did call a co-worker/friend who came to my rescue. The first thing I did when I got home? I changed the location of my spare key - after 8 years, I moved it.
Why did I move it? Is it that I didn't trust my rescuer? I can admit that I feared that he may tell the story to others in my office and then my spare key would become office knowledge. It's amazing what people disclose to co-workers and friends, especially after a night on the town. I didn't want to take that risk.
Today I decided to pursue the whole foster care issue again, this time directly with my Program Manager. He said he would "think about it". He did ask what my relationship was with the agency I was considering licensure and I explained. He also asked if they would license me based on my intentions of short-term and respite care. I then called the agency licenser without waiting for a response.
They will license me. Or I should preface to say, they will work with me. They will pursue licensing me and would be happy to do so - assuming my home meets licensing rules...which I only see the lack of egress in my basement being an issue - for my son and I, not to actually be licensed. I scheduled the Orientation without actually getting confirmation from the Program Manager that I could proceed; however, if I'm told I can't, than I won't. Done. As part of the license, I need five unrelated references. Five.
Moments before I decided to type this, I mentally made a list and then wrote them out of who I could ask to be references. I struggled. And then, I wondered how sad is it that I can't come up with five people that would be a personal reference for me? Five people that I think know me well enough to be a reference? As I type this, I begin to think of more. But even this morning as I walked into work, I thought of some of my closest relationships and one specifically that after 1.5 years has never even been to my house. Am I that private? Do I keep my friends at that much of a distance? Do I fear intimacy in all relationships or any relationship? Do I share more on a blog than I do with my closest friends?
Or does it really boil down to the fact that I'm an A personality and a perfectionist. That I don't want to bother those closest to me, or that I fear that they don't know me on every level that it would seem a reference should. Work references, no problem. Personal references, different story. I want the references to be positive. But I have different friends - childhood friends, work friends, personal friends, friends through my child...do I have five that can vouch for me as a reference that know me personally as a person, a friend, a mother, a caretaker, as well as a character reference in a professional capacity and have been to my house? Is there anyone other than spouses or significant others, best friends and family (if even them) that knows anyone that intimately? I think of how many people I know that intimately.
So here I sit struggling if maybe, I'm not a good friend. Or maybe I really have trust issues. Is it my life, my job or just me that has molded me into who I am? All of the above.
I'm not afraid to give the guy that I've been out with three times my address. Sometimes it's easier to disclose to those that don't know us or will never meet us. Or to those that we know that relationships will only be so deep, just below the surface. Maybe it's the fear of disappointing others with who I am or what I have to offer. Or maybe it really is about gut instinct or in the guy that I'm dating, I don't want to be taken for granted. I've worked hard for who I am and where I'm at and the thought that someone could or would want something from me without really wanting all of me...that's what fear keeps me grounded and private.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Male Compliments
I'm so tired of receiving emails and texts from people commenting on my looks. I really think that I have more to offer.
BUT...I do not find it even remotely flattering to receive random messages or texts from people that I don't know very well saying, "your hot (great English at best!)" or "hi sexy!" or anything of the same. Maybe it's just a personal issue I have. I also don't care for the cat calls by passerby's when I'm walking or biking.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all about getting a compliment that is sincere and not something I would expect one to shout at the girl fondling the pole or setting down your wings at Hooters. I am neither of those girls!
Sometimes unsolicited and unwarranted comments from people I don't know well, well they just creep me out. Then again, so do pictures of half naked men with moobs, man boobs do too!
So maybe it's just me. But I do know that when someone texts me or emails me such messages, I'm don't feel so inclined to clear my schedule to see them, anytime soon. I could be completely wrong.
BUT...I do not find it even remotely flattering to receive random messages or texts from people that I don't know very well saying, "your hot (great English at best!)" or "hi sexy!" or anything of the same. Maybe it's just a personal issue I have. I also don't care for the cat calls by passerby's when I'm walking or biking.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all about getting a compliment that is sincere and not something I would expect one to shout at the girl fondling the pole or setting down your wings at Hooters. I am neither of those girls!
Sometimes unsolicited and unwarranted comments from people I don't know well, well they just creep me out. Then again, so do pictures of half naked men with moobs, man boobs do too!
So maybe it's just me. But I do know that when someone texts me or emails me such messages, I'm don't feel so inclined to clear my schedule to see them, anytime soon. I could be completely wrong.
Bed & Breakfast/Weekend Recap
Last Friday I was able to utilize my Bed & Breakfast purchase, sans my son! I did miss his scrimmage on Saturday, for my own sanity of course! Seeing that I had the day off, I was able to take a nap after taking my son to school and then got busy around the house with putting away laundry, straightening up and then packing for a weekend of whatever!
I had a lunch date on Friday. This was my first date since early November - although some may say that spending time with male friends is dating, for me it isn't. I had been talking to this guy for a week on the phone (which likely added some additional stress for not being able to schedule plans) and with my son's visitation schedule back to normal, I could finally make plans to meet. Lunch went fine. He's a nice guy, despite some quirky traits - but we all have them, right?
After the almost four hour lunch date, I headed to find the B&B while making plans to meet another friend for drinks before my evening plans with my girlfriend. When I arrived at the B&B I was on the phone, so I waited on the porch until I finished. When I tried the front door...it was locked. Moments later an SUV came flying into the drive and a minute later the front door opened.
I was greeted by a slightly winded, slightly disheveled middle aged short-red haired woman. I introduced myself and gave her my certificate. I was also greeted by two large Dalmatians, that I reached down to pet. She did not introduce herself or the excited dogs. She went on to say that twice in two weeks she had to rescue a flat tire and came home to find people waiting on her. She proceeded to walk up the stairs with me in tow - without luggage since I was initially scoping out the place! The woman offered me a choice between two bedrooms - a smaller, quaint room, or a larger room with a loveseat and chair. I had no preference and she gave me the larger room. She seemed more than appalled that it was just me! She then asked what time I wanted breakfast. Being more than flexible I asked what worked for her. Apparently that is the wrong thing to ask! I suggested 9 or 9:30 seeing that I had to check out at 10. She then said, "So which one?". As she walked out of the room I asked about the bathroom since I hadn't but peeked into the bedroom. I hadn't realized there was a bathroom, which was shared between the two bedrooms. I then asked her if the doors were locked or what time I needed to be in. I was trying to be nice. She said that she locks the doors after all guests are in for the night. I mentioned that if it were really late, I wouldn't return. She asked that I call her if that was the case.
General impressions...A) She dislikes single guests, B) She dislikes her job, C) She doesn't like people that use their pre-paid night stays, D) She didn't like that I was left waiting, E) She doesn't like to introduce herself or show off her home, F) She disliked ME, G) All of the Above & 100 more...G, G, G, G, G, G...
My friend came to pick me up, since we were less than .5 mile from downtown and I figured I could either get a cab or my girlfriend could bring me back. I decided to leave my things in the room afterall and return. When my friend and I left the B&B the woman did say, "Wow, they are multiplying (since apparently she didn't realize my friend had walked in)" and I told her I would be back. She advised me that she would be going out to dinner and locking the residence - while my first instinct was that she thought I would ransack her home with my "friends" - I told her I wouldn't be returning until late after a night out.
My friend and I hit a local bar where I had never been. When grabbed some happy hour specials - which made me VERY HAPPY - and appetizers. JN then called and picked up comedy tickets for the three of us, since I invited my friend along as well. We then met elsewhere for dinner - which were more appetizers and drinks! We had tickets for the comedy club at 10p.m. I may have actually fallen asleep during the show - since I had consumed alcohol, the comics weren't funny and I was emotionally spent from my breakdown the days before and decompressing from everything! The show ended and we bounced around a few bars, before I was dropped back off at the B&B around 1a.m. I proceeded to fall asleep in the bucket chair - completely uncomfortable - but too tired to get ready for bed, or even crash on the bed. At 4a.m. I proceeded to get up and get ready for bed and couldn't find a non-feather pillow. I slept on a few towels. Good times!
At 7a.m. I was up and read my book for a while. Just before 9:30 I went downstairs showered (which the water was rusty for a few solid minutes - and the shampoo was in a dispenser on the shower wall!) and in my workout clothes (although my shoes were in my trunk!). Breakfast was OK. She finally sat down with me and we had a decent discussion. I learned her name from the other two guests that left breakfast shortly after I arrived. She gave me a comment card before my breakfast arrived. As I was walking out the door to leave, she commented that non-feather pillows were located in the closet! I mentioned I had hoped even for a throw pillow on the loveseat or chair which she responded, "What do you do with throw pillows other than throw them on the floor?" Well, I use them to sleep on when there are feather pillows!
I then went over to my friend AG's house and we went for a 6.5 mile walk around town. Got back and cleaned up and headed out to meet more friends for brunch. AG and I then did some shopping around town before I dropped him off. I then had an hour or so to kill before my dinner "date" where a friend had invited me over for dinner - where he was cooking! I was responsible for bringing wine or beverages. After the night before consumption, I wasn't really up for drinking, but grabbed a six-pack of Wild Blue, Blueberry beer when a bottle of wine was beckoning me to purchase. His Fault. How could I pass up that?
Dinner turned out very good. We had a great evening despite His Fault tasting not so fabulous! We then tried to watch two of my movies which were miserable and ended up at Blockbuster renting a third, which was equally as bad.
Sunday I picked up my friend and we headed to church. Three times I've gone to service in the past month. Wow, what is that all about? I have to admit that the third time must be a charm, because service was actually tolerable. I still find it amazing that in the recesses of our mind we store a lot of information, like every saying and response for a catholic service when attendance is minimal at best! We grabbed brunch after service. He offered I could read the rest of my book or nap while he did homework and we could walk later. I opted to head home where I spent the rest of my Sunday being extremely lazy!
It was a busy weekend, although it be relaxing and full of great friends! The B&B lady even asked if it was my "birthday", since who goes to a B&B, out with friends and has another offer to cook dinner if it isn't your birthday? Me I guess. I hope you too!
I had a lunch date on Friday. This was my first date since early November - although some may say that spending time with male friends is dating, for me it isn't. I had been talking to this guy for a week on the phone (which likely added some additional stress for not being able to schedule plans) and with my son's visitation schedule back to normal, I could finally make plans to meet. Lunch went fine. He's a nice guy, despite some quirky traits - but we all have them, right?
After the almost four hour lunch date, I headed to find the B&B while making plans to meet another friend for drinks before my evening plans with my girlfriend. When I arrived at the B&B I was on the phone, so I waited on the porch until I finished. When I tried the front door...it was locked. Moments later an SUV came flying into the drive and a minute later the front door opened.
I was greeted by a slightly winded, slightly disheveled middle aged short-red haired woman. I introduced myself and gave her my certificate. I was also greeted by two large Dalmatians, that I reached down to pet. She did not introduce herself or the excited dogs. She went on to say that twice in two weeks she had to rescue a flat tire and came home to find people waiting on her. She proceeded to walk up the stairs with me in tow - without luggage since I was initially scoping out the place! The woman offered me a choice between two bedrooms - a smaller, quaint room, or a larger room with a loveseat and chair. I had no preference and she gave me the larger room. She seemed more than appalled that it was just me! She then asked what time I wanted breakfast. Being more than flexible I asked what worked for her. Apparently that is the wrong thing to ask! I suggested 9 or 9:30 seeing that I had to check out at 10. She then said, "So which one?". As she walked out of the room I asked about the bathroom since I hadn't but peeked into the bedroom. I hadn't realized there was a bathroom, which was shared between the two bedrooms. I then asked her if the doors were locked or what time I needed to be in. I was trying to be nice. She said that she locks the doors after all guests are in for the night. I mentioned that if it were really late, I wouldn't return. She asked that I call her if that was the case.
General impressions...A) She dislikes single guests, B) She dislikes her job, C) She doesn't like people that use their pre-paid night stays, D) She didn't like that I was left waiting, E) She doesn't like to introduce herself or show off her home, F) She disliked ME, G) All of the Above & 100 more...G, G, G, G, G, G...
My friend came to pick me up, since we were less than .5 mile from downtown and I figured I could either get a cab or my girlfriend could bring me back. I decided to leave my things in the room afterall and return. When my friend and I left the B&B the woman did say, "Wow, they are multiplying (since apparently she didn't realize my friend had walked in)" and I told her I would be back. She advised me that she would be going out to dinner and locking the residence - while my first instinct was that she thought I would ransack her home with my "friends" - I told her I wouldn't be returning until late after a night out.
My friend and I hit a local bar where I had never been. When grabbed some happy hour specials - which made me VERY HAPPY - and appetizers. JN then called and picked up comedy tickets for the three of us, since I invited my friend along as well. We then met elsewhere for dinner - which were more appetizers and drinks! We had tickets for the comedy club at 10p.m. I may have actually fallen asleep during the show - since I had consumed alcohol, the comics weren't funny and I was emotionally spent from my breakdown the days before and decompressing from everything! The show ended and we bounced around a few bars, before I was dropped back off at the B&B around 1a.m. I proceeded to fall asleep in the bucket chair - completely uncomfortable - but too tired to get ready for bed, or even crash on the bed. At 4a.m. I proceeded to get up and get ready for bed and couldn't find a non-feather pillow. I slept on a few towels. Good times!
At 7a.m. I was up and read my book for a while. Just before 9:30 I went downstairs showered (which the water was rusty for a few solid minutes - and the shampoo was in a dispenser on the shower wall!) and in my workout clothes (although my shoes were in my trunk!). Breakfast was OK. She finally sat down with me and we had a decent discussion. I learned her name from the other two guests that left breakfast shortly after I arrived. She gave me a comment card before my breakfast arrived. As I was walking out the door to leave, she commented that non-feather pillows were located in the closet! I mentioned I had hoped even for a throw pillow on the loveseat or chair which she responded, "What do you do with throw pillows other than throw them on the floor?" Well, I use them to sleep on when there are feather pillows!
I then went over to my friend AG's house and we went for a 6.5 mile walk around town. Got back and cleaned up and headed out to meet more friends for brunch. AG and I then did some shopping around town before I dropped him off. I then had an hour or so to kill before my dinner "date" where a friend had invited me over for dinner - where he was cooking! I was responsible for bringing wine or beverages. After the night before consumption, I wasn't really up for drinking, but grabbed a six-pack of Wild Blue, Blueberry beer when a bottle of wine was beckoning me to purchase. His Fault. How could I pass up that?
Dinner turned out very good. We had a great evening despite His Fault tasting not so fabulous! We then tried to watch two of my movies which were miserable and ended up at Blockbuster renting a third, which was equally as bad.
Sunday I picked up my friend and we headed to church. Three times I've gone to service in the past month. Wow, what is that all about? I have to admit that the third time must be a charm, because service was actually tolerable. I still find it amazing that in the recesses of our mind we store a lot of information, like every saying and response for a catholic service when attendance is minimal at best! We grabbed brunch after service. He offered I could read the rest of my book or nap while he did homework and we could walk later. I opted to head home where I spent the rest of my Sunday being extremely lazy!
It was a busy weekend, although it be relaxing and full of great friends! The B&B lady even asked if it was my "birthday", since who goes to a B&B, out with friends and has another offer to cook dinner if it isn't your birthday? Me I guess. I hope you too!
Friday - TGIF
FRIDAY, FRIDAY, FRIDAY!!!
I'm so glad it's finally Friday, even if that means I don't have any plans for the weekend. It's amazing to think that this is the end of the second week of my return from vacation. So much has happened in the past two weeks, nothing life altering, but very overwhelming.
Feel free to skip this post...it's going to be rambling randomness...that I will do my best to summarize, which I don't do very well!
I returned home on April 9, 2010 to immediate caretaking of my son, since his father did have surgery on 4/8/10. Without direct communication from him, he didn't exercise his visitation that weekend or the following Monday or Wednesday. I would have done better emotionally had I at least had an idea of when he was planning on visiting again. I contacted him on 4/15 and confirmed he was well enough to see our son again beginning that weekend.
On 4/8/10 after arriving back to Florida, I noticed a slight rash on my left arm. I questioned whether or not I had sun poisoning. I believe, undiagnosed of course, that in fact I did have sun poisoning which progressively got worse Friday and throughout the weekend. Not to be confused with motion sickness from the cruise - I battled headaches, nausea, dizziness and general incoherence. A few days later, I was beginning to resume back to normalcy a greater percentage of the day!
As blogged about, I had the issue with my credit card being compromised and thus deactivated. A week later, my new card arrived in the mail.
Before my vacation I was struggling with a few work issues. I had a subsequent issue the evening after I blogged. And that, coupled with everything else (not winding down from vacation, sun poisoning, parenting, credit card, etc.) was enough to push me over the edge.
I can't recall a time where it had ever been so bad. Where I actually really did want to quit my job and had planned to do so. Of course the reality of paying my mortgage, my bills, parenting and maintaining my sanity all require maintaining my job. But as I drove away from my last appointment of the evening, three hours later, I burst into tears. Inconsolable tears.
I've never experienced a nervous breakdown. Clearly I wasn't nervous (that's a JOKE! But why is it called "nervous"?)! Emotionally I was overwhelmed. I was maxed. I was spent. I tried to regroup and by the time I arrived home, I had stopped crying, almost, until I thought about everything again.
When I arrived home, I found my garage open and my son home. I had sent him off to practice on his bike since I was tied up with work. I thought I had to race into the house, change clothes and bike to meet him. I was glad I didn't have to; however, he was home because he had the wrong time for practice. He had been almost an hour late! I felt responsible, another failure.
The following morning as I dropped my son off for a field trip, I called my boss to request meeting with him. I knew I needed time off. Did I fail to mention that I also heard a message at my office from one of my families with questions and concerns about a phone call I had made with his wife, that I listened to at 2a.m.? My boss asked if I was "OK". NO. I was anything but OK.
I met with my boss and asked to take the rest of the week off. Just under two days to regroup and determine what in fact I wanted to do about my job, my life, myself. He asked if I wanted to go to part-time. I knew that I couldn't address any of it. I gave him the updates of work that had hit the fan and about an hour or so later, I left the office. And I was feeling much better just knowing I was leaving everything behind to address with a clear head and a clear conscious after the weekend.
On the way home, I confirmed that the weekend was mine, childless. Things were going to be more than OK. So was it an emotional breakdown, a nervous breakdown or emotional overload? I have no idea. I do know that I got through it, maybe not with flying colors or how I would have hoped or in the timeframe that I would have liked, but I did!
It's been a week since. I had a great weekend! Normalcy and routine has returned. Had I had my few days of recuperation that I had initially planned from my vacation, I'm pretty sure emotionally I would have prevailed without an issue; however, sometimes, it's that awakening that helps us to realize that we are only human. We aren't perfect and while it may seem that some expect that from us, I'm not.
I'm so glad it's finally Friday, even if that means I don't have any plans for the weekend. It's amazing to think that this is the end of the second week of my return from vacation. So much has happened in the past two weeks, nothing life altering, but very overwhelming.
Feel free to skip this post...it's going to be rambling randomness...that I will do my best to summarize, which I don't do very well!
I returned home on April 9, 2010 to immediate caretaking of my son, since his father did have surgery on 4/8/10. Without direct communication from him, he didn't exercise his visitation that weekend or the following Monday or Wednesday. I would have done better emotionally had I at least had an idea of when he was planning on visiting again. I contacted him on 4/15 and confirmed he was well enough to see our son again beginning that weekend.
On 4/8/10 after arriving back to Florida, I noticed a slight rash on my left arm. I questioned whether or not I had sun poisoning. I believe, undiagnosed of course, that in fact I did have sun poisoning which progressively got worse Friday and throughout the weekend. Not to be confused with motion sickness from the cruise - I battled headaches, nausea, dizziness and general incoherence. A few days later, I was beginning to resume back to normalcy a greater percentage of the day!
As blogged about, I had the issue with my credit card being compromised and thus deactivated. A week later, my new card arrived in the mail.
Before my vacation I was struggling with a few work issues. I had a subsequent issue the evening after I blogged. And that, coupled with everything else (not winding down from vacation, sun poisoning, parenting, credit card, etc.) was enough to push me over the edge.
I can't recall a time where it had ever been so bad. Where I actually really did want to quit my job and had planned to do so. Of course the reality of paying my mortgage, my bills, parenting and maintaining my sanity all require maintaining my job. But as I drove away from my last appointment of the evening, three hours later, I burst into tears. Inconsolable tears.
I've never experienced a nervous breakdown. Clearly I wasn't nervous (that's a JOKE! But why is it called "nervous"?)! Emotionally I was overwhelmed. I was maxed. I was spent. I tried to regroup and by the time I arrived home, I had stopped crying, almost, until I thought about everything again.
When I arrived home, I found my garage open and my son home. I had sent him off to practice on his bike since I was tied up with work. I thought I had to race into the house, change clothes and bike to meet him. I was glad I didn't have to; however, he was home because he had the wrong time for practice. He had been almost an hour late! I felt responsible, another failure.
The following morning as I dropped my son off for a field trip, I called my boss to request meeting with him. I knew I needed time off. Did I fail to mention that I also heard a message at my office from one of my families with questions and concerns about a phone call I had made with his wife, that I listened to at 2a.m.? My boss asked if I was "OK". NO. I was anything but OK.
I met with my boss and asked to take the rest of the week off. Just under two days to regroup and determine what in fact I wanted to do about my job, my life, myself. He asked if I wanted to go to part-time. I knew that I couldn't address any of it. I gave him the updates of work that had hit the fan and about an hour or so later, I left the office. And I was feeling much better just knowing I was leaving everything behind to address with a clear head and a clear conscious after the weekend.
On the way home, I confirmed that the weekend was mine, childless. Things were going to be more than OK. So was it an emotional breakdown, a nervous breakdown or emotional overload? I have no idea. I do know that I got through it, maybe not with flying colors or how I would have hoped or in the timeframe that I would have liked, but I did!
It's been a week since. I had a great weekend! Normalcy and routine has returned. Had I had my few days of recuperation that I had initially planned from my vacation, I'm pretty sure emotionally I would have prevailed without an issue; however, sometimes, it's that awakening that helps us to realize that we are only human. We aren't perfect and while it may seem that some expect that from us, I'm not.
Lint...
Random...my son would clearly call this Friday morning post...RANDOM.
As I try to clear away the cobwebs and the lint in my mind, all I can come up with is to actually blog about lint. Ok, this isn't entirely true, but again, I just don't know where to begin.
Belly button lint can easily be removed with a q-tip...generally if it is slightly damp it cleans so much quicker!
But I had never found a quick remedy for removing the lint from my blow dryer! Similarly to the belly button, in the past I have utilized damp q-tips or tweezers to remove the lint that fills the back screen of my hair dryer. It's often a most tedious task that I often end up pushing the screen too hard.
This morning, in my spare 30 seconds (Ok, I didn't really have the 30 seconds to spare but the immediate need to clean it was apparent at that very moment!) I decided to clean the screen. First I unplugged the hair dryer (I might have some commonsense). Then I added water to my nail brush and slightly rubbed the back of the dryer/screen. Within seconds all of the lint had been removed!
Now if only I could find a quick fix for my bi-weekly hair clogging shower drain! Any suggestions? And showering less or not washing my hair is not an option!
As I try to clear away the cobwebs and the lint in my mind, all I can come up with is to actually blog about lint. Ok, this isn't entirely true, but again, I just don't know where to begin.
Belly button lint can easily be removed with a q-tip...generally if it is slightly damp it cleans so much quicker!
But I had never found a quick remedy for removing the lint from my blow dryer! Similarly to the belly button, in the past I have utilized damp q-tips or tweezers to remove the lint that fills the back screen of my hair dryer. It's often a most tedious task that I often end up pushing the screen too hard.
This morning, in my spare 30 seconds (Ok, I didn't really have the 30 seconds to spare but the immediate need to clean it was apparent at that very moment!) I decided to clean the screen. First I unplugged the hair dryer (I might have some commonsense). Then I added water to my nail brush and slightly rubbed the back of the dryer/screen. Within seconds all of the lint had been removed!
Now if only I could find a quick fix for my bi-weekly hair clogging shower drain! Any suggestions? And showering less or not washing my hair is not an option!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
People...Burnout
SIGH...
I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Not the overly dramatic type of sigh, but the resolute, burned out, weathered, lack of words, lack luster, defeated form of sigh.
I'm tired. I'm tired of using empathy to understand people. To understand their motivation or lack thereof. I'm tired of people saying (or preaching) one thing and doing another. Every time I look or turn around, I'm confronted with yet another person. Yet another disappointment. Or is it more, confirmation? Confirmation that people are only human. They aren't perfect?
I tend to believe that is BS. When did it become acceptable to not be accountable for your actions? When did YOU become more important than others or their time?
Why do I feel more often than not, I'm struggling. Struggling to understand why it seems so difficult for others to live by morals, ethics and rights? When do people stop caring about others and being the best "ME" possibly and become self-absorbed?
It isn't just in my personal life (where I think I'm more defeated and willing to accept) but also in my professional life. When did it become acceptable for people to schedule appointments that were necessary and important - that they requested more often than not - to "forget" them? I'm becoming better about confirming appointments and 90% of them they "forgot" and I need to reschedule. In the day and age of technology - crackberries, cell phones, ipads, computers...let alone the old pocket calendar (which I still swear by!) how does one not remember an appointment? Sigh...
Then, don't even get me started on the people that feel that their religious beliefs give them vindication, validation and reason to be inhumane. Over the years, I've found myself (born and raised Catholic) more and more irritated with "holy rollers" or those that feel that they are above all others because they are "Godly" or "God-spoken" and they live in his ways. Why is it that those that self-proclaim and preach are often the most hypocritical? These God speaking persons (some even Pastors and their spouses) justify their behaviors - because afterall, God must forgive all sins right? Therefore, those that frequent a religious sector or frequent a place of worship have the most accessibility to forgiveness of sins, right?
Because the way I was born and raised, it isn't OK to make a toddler who has food issues (different than your own) sit at the table for hours because she won't eat her meal. Or better yet, when that wasn't acceptable for the family, make the child spit their unswallowed food into a cup and eat it at the next meal or the next morning. Afterall they tell me, that's "creative discipline" and they say "it works".
Yes, I'm sure in the bible somewhere, this is acceptable to not waste or want. I'm sure someone can reference a biblical verse for me. Truth is, when did understanding a child's needs not become necessary - even when the child isn't your own, or even theirs? And forcing a child to eat what's been chewed and not swallowed, is that not some form of abuse? But it worked, they exclaimed! How young is too young to create an eating disorder in a child?
I'm at a loss. I just don't know what to say anymore...
I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Not the overly dramatic type of sigh, but the resolute, burned out, weathered, lack of words, lack luster, defeated form of sigh.
I'm tired. I'm tired of using empathy to understand people. To understand their motivation or lack thereof. I'm tired of people saying (or preaching) one thing and doing another. Every time I look or turn around, I'm confronted with yet another person. Yet another disappointment. Or is it more, confirmation? Confirmation that people are only human. They aren't perfect?
I tend to believe that is BS. When did it become acceptable to not be accountable for your actions? When did YOU become more important than others or their time?
Why do I feel more often than not, I'm struggling. Struggling to understand why it seems so difficult for others to live by morals, ethics and rights? When do people stop caring about others and being the best "ME" possibly and become self-absorbed?
It isn't just in my personal life (where I think I'm more defeated and willing to accept) but also in my professional life. When did it become acceptable for people to schedule appointments that were necessary and important - that they requested more often than not - to "forget" them? I'm becoming better about confirming appointments and 90% of them they "forgot" and I need to reschedule. In the day and age of technology - crackberries, cell phones, ipads, computers...let alone the old pocket calendar (which I still swear by!) how does one not remember an appointment? Sigh...
Then, don't even get me started on the people that feel that their religious beliefs give them vindication, validation and reason to be inhumane. Over the years, I've found myself (born and raised Catholic) more and more irritated with "holy rollers" or those that feel that they are above all others because they are "Godly" or "God-spoken" and they live in his ways. Why is it that those that self-proclaim and preach are often the most hypocritical? These God speaking persons (some even Pastors and their spouses) justify their behaviors - because afterall, God must forgive all sins right? Therefore, those that frequent a religious sector or frequent a place of worship have the most accessibility to forgiveness of sins, right?
Because the way I was born and raised, it isn't OK to make a toddler who has food issues (different than your own) sit at the table for hours because she won't eat her meal. Or better yet, when that wasn't acceptable for the family, make the child spit their unswallowed food into a cup and eat it at the next meal or the next morning. Afterall they tell me, that's "creative discipline" and they say "it works".
Yes, I'm sure in the bible somewhere, this is acceptable to not waste or want. I'm sure someone can reference a biblical verse for me. Truth is, when did understanding a child's needs not become necessary - even when the child isn't your own, or even theirs? And forcing a child to eat what's been chewed and not swallowed, is that not some form of abuse? But it worked, they exclaimed! How young is too young to create an eating disorder in a child?
I'm at a loss. I just don't know what to say anymore...
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Bed & Breakfast
Last year, I bid on one night at a Bed & Breakfast through the local auction. I wasn't the highest bidder. I was OK with that. At the time, I was involved in a relationship and thought a cheap night, even 30 miles away, at a Bed & Breakfast could be a fun and needed getaway. Despite not being the highest bidder, the auction had six certificates and gave them to the six highest bidders and I was one of them.
Of course, that relationship ended shortly thereafter. So now a year has almost gone by and the night expires at the end of the month. I figured so as not to lose out on something I've already purchased, I would book the room. I figure nothing wrong with taking advantage of something that is already mine and hitting the town and not having to worry about driving home.
Here's what some of my friends, mainly male, find so funny...I'm planning on staying at the B&B solo. While several of my male friends have offered to provide me company and companionship...since my not so distant naivete about my "friend/ex" I'm not even going to fathom that men and women can be friends that can sleep in the same bed and put myself in that situation (although I've honestly done this many times in the past without physical intimacy - but one rotten egg in the bunch has spoiled that - for now at least).
I would love to invite one of my girlfriends to stay with me. Sure I've shared many a hotel room and even beds with girlfriends and it's never been a problem; however, for some reason it doesn't seem quite the same as sharing a Bed & Breakfast with a female friend and the implications along with doing so.
I figure I'll plan on checking in early to see what type of B&B it is and how appropriate it would even be to roll in at 2:00a.m. or later after hitting the town. I might get in a good workout around town and go back to the room and get ready for the evening adventures and take my things out of the room when I go out. That way, I won't be forced to return to the B&B if plans change and I end up at my girlfriend's house or home instead.
Would you consider staying at a B&B solo if it wasn't for a business trip?
Of course, that relationship ended shortly thereafter. So now a year has almost gone by and the night expires at the end of the month. I figured so as not to lose out on something I've already purchased, I would book the room. I figure nothing wrong with taking advantage of something that is already mine and hitting the town and not having to worry about driving home.
Here's what some of my friends, mainly male, find so funny...I'm planning on staying at the B&B solo. While several of my male friends have offered to provide me company and companionship...since my not so distant naivete about my "friend/ex" I'm not even going to fathom that men and women can be friends that can sleep in the same bed and put myself in that situation (although I've honestly done this many times in the past without physical intimacy - but one rotten egg in the bunch has spoiled that - for now at least).
I would love to invite one of my girlfriends to stay with me. Sure I've shared many a hotel room and even beds with girlfriends and it's never been a problem; however, for some reason it doesn't seem quite the same as sharing a Bed & Breakfast with a female friend and the implications along with doing so.
I figure I'll plan on checking in early to see what type of B&B it is and how appropriate it would even be to roll in at 2:00a.m. or later after hitting the town. I might get in a good workout around town and go back to the room and get ready for the evening adventures and take my things out of the room when I go out. That way, I won't be forced to return to the B&B if plans change and I end up at my girlfriend's house or home instead.
Would you consider staying at a B&B solo if it wasn't for a business trip?
AI Comparison
I had to laugh today, well I do that more than a dozen times everyday, at a Supervisor in my office. I was in my Supervisor's office trying to hash out the details of a new plan that has to be submitted to the state in two days, when another Supervisor (allegedly my new Supervisor at a date tbd) popped his head in and asked if it was me, who had my back to the door.
He then inquired if I watch American Idol and if I had been watching this season. I said that I had been intermittently, but not religiously. He asked if I knew who Katie was. I said I did. He said that she reminds him of me. And because of that, he is a big fan of hers.
Wow, that was sweet, I think. A 17 year old singer on American Idol reminds him of me.
Must mean I really look that young and innocent? Right? No comments needed!
He then inquired if I watch American Idol and if I had been watching this season. I said that I had been intermittently, but not religiously. He asked if I knew who Katie was. I said I did. He said that she reminds him of me. And because of that, he is a big fan of hers.
Wow, that was sweet, I think. A 17 year old singer on American Idol reminds him of me.
Must mean I really look that young and innocent? Right? No comments needed!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Communication & Cancer
My son's dad, still refuses to communicate with me. He finally spoke with our son about what was going on with him, prior to his surgery. My son called me and said, "I KNOW! I KNOW! DAD HAS A TUMOR IN HIS BUTT!"
What in the world does that mean? A tumor in his butt? Something that his dad told me on the phone was cancer that wouldn't require chemo or radiation but would leave a big hole where a chunk would be removed. A tumor in his butt? Was that his way of communicating to our 13-year old son at his level? Seriously? He's an extremely intelligent, inquisitive 7th grader, he isn't FOUR! Is it prostate cancer? Is it truly a "tumor in his butt"?
Needless to say, that's all that was communicated to me - from my son, or his father. My son didn't go to two baseball practices the week of spring break when he was with his dad. He wasn't told it was because his dad was too ill or couldn't drive. Nope, it was because his dad had a pancake breakfast at work and then the basketball championship was the other night (which was AFTER practice - and coincidentally my son had to go to bed with 10 minutes left in the game!!!!!!). I later learned that even being an "Assistant Coach" he didn't bother to call the coach and say that our son (or him) wasn't going to be at practice. Nothing.
The day of the surgery, was the day that I arrived portside in Florida. I called my son about 8:30a.m. Apparently his dad left for the hospital at 4:30a.m. and he was home alone. He had a ton of food and would be there until his step-mom picked him up at 9:00. NINE IN THE EVENING! The plan was that she would return our son back to his dad's house in the morning where he would await my arrival sometime that afternoon. Good plan?
Fortunately I had talked with JA about the possibility of T staying with her that night if in fact he had surgery that day. She was willing to have him. Then I figured he could stay with her or walk home the next day. T was willing to go, but not that I gave him much of a choice. Sure, T stays home during days off and the summer when we work (8-5:30p.m.) but NOT 4:30a.m.-9:00p.m.! I really had an issue with this. How could I be sure that woman, his wife who lives in a different home, would pick up my son? What if she didn't?
Everything worked out fine. My son heard from his dad the day of the surgery as well as yesterday. He is apparently home, not a week later, but just 2.5 days later. He's alive. My son said he will be recovering for two months. What does that mean? If it was a tumor in his ass then I would assume the last thing he should do is be sitting on it for two months! (Did I really just type that?) As for anything else, I have no idea. Other than according to my son, he won't be exercising his parenting time tonight and who knows when he will.
Why in the world would I be privy to that information?
What in the world does that mean? A tumor in his butt? Something that his dad told me on the phone was cancer that wouldn't require chemo or radiation but would leave a big hole where a chunk would be removed. A tumor in his butt? Was that his way of communicating to our 13-year old son at his level? Seriously? He's an extremely intelligent, inquisitive 7th grader, he isn't FOUR! Is it prostate cancer? Is it truly a "tumor in his butt"?
Needless to say, that's all that was communicated to me - from my son, or his father. My son didn't go to two baseball practices the week of spring break when he was with his dad. He wasn't told it was because his dad was too ill or couldn't drive. Nope, it was because his dad had a pancake breakfast at work and then the basketball championship was the other night (which was AFTER practice - and coincidentally my son had to go to bed with 10 minutes left in the game!!!!!!). I later learned that even being an "Assistant Coach" he didn't bother to call the coach and say that our son (or him) wasn't going to be at practice. Nothing.
The day of the surgery, was the day that I arrived portside in Florida. I called my son about 8:30a.m. Apparently his dad left for the hospital at 4:30a.m. and he was home alone. He had a ton of food and would be there until his step-mom picked him up at 9:00. NINE IN THE EVENING! The plan was that she would return our son back to his dad's house in the morning where he would await my arrival sometime that afternoon. Good plan?
Fortunately I had talked with JA about the possibility of T staying with her that night if in fact he had surgery that day. She was willing to have him. Then I figured he could stay with her or walk home the next day. T was willing to go, but not that I gave him much of a choice. Sure, T stays home during days off and the summer when we work (8-5:30p.m.) but NOT 4:30a.m.-9:00p.m.! I really had an issue with this. How could I be sure that woman, his wife who lives in a different home, would pick up my son? What if she didn't?
Everything worked out fine. My son heard from his dad the day of the surgery as well as yesterday. He is apparently home, not a week later, but just 2.5 days later. He's alive. My son said he will be recovering for two months. What does that mean? If it was a tumor in his ass then I would assume the last thing he should do is be sitting on it for two months! (Did I really just type that?) As for anything else, I have no idea. Other than according to my son, he won't be exercising his parenting time tonight and who knows when he will.
Why in the world would I be privy to that information?
Compromised Variation Part II
A while back, I felt compromised. I'm not sure that compromised is the most appropriate word, possibly used may be more appropriate. Nonetheless, compromised.
I struggled in the situation or predicament that I found myself. I battled with a matter of good vs. evil, right vs. wrong, moral vs. immoral and well probably a 1000 other things, 'cause I'm not only good like that, I'm OCD in so many undiagnosed ways.
I question whether or not appropriate to blog about it, but I've found closure, closure for myself. Maybe I want feedback of what you would do. I asked several friends and confidants and none of them suggested to do what I ultimately did, but I tried it the other way, first.
An ex-boyfriend contacted me sometime ago to see if I wanted to get a drink. Let me reiterate that I'm not into the friends with benefits, but I'm not going to say that I've never, if not dating someone happened to see an ex. Whether it was to see if we made the right decision, see if feelings existed, or because we were single. Anyway, I was already out with a friend and I offered he could meet us. He made it out for last call. Seeing that he had just driven more than half an hour and neither of us were tired, I invited him back to the house to play ping pong. (I'm sure this sounds much worse than it was! Since we stopped dating he had purchased a ping pong table and felt that he had improved. I live a mile from the bar and my intentions were completely harmless - apparently, his were not.)
After a few hours of laughing and drinking and three games of ping pong later (and him mentioning he joined FB), we decided to play the Wii. It may have been approaching three, or four a.m. He had never once mentioned he was dating anyone and when I mentioned I wasn't, he confirmed that dating sucks. While playing the Wii, he kissed me. He was in no shape to drive home and we both had to work in the morning. Naive, I may be, because I really didn't think anything would or needed to happen as we were both exhausted. We went to bed. In the morning, when it was time for work, he called in. I called in late. We messed around, but I wasn't willing to have sex with him. I felt compromised and questioned his motivation and just wasn't feeling it.
He left mid-morning. There was no mention about when we would see each other, if, or even talk to each other. Then again, that's kind of how it was when we were actually dating too.
I decided to look him up on FB. His wall was viewable and he had posted several days earlier about spending quality time with "X" for the weekend. His posts the two weekends before were similar. Coincidentally this was the name of his former male boss as well. I looked through his friends and found a female by the same name. Her profile was private but her profile picture...was the two of them.
My heart sunk. I had a knot the size of a 10# weight in the pitt of my stomach. Had I become that girl? Without my knowledge, was I that girl? How was I suppose to know? I didn't know what to do. I wanted to contact her immediately and apologize for what I didn't know and what had happened. But should I get involved at all? If she were me, which during my relationship with him, I was her and I would have wanted to know. Would she believe me if I emailed her? Would I devastate her? Was I willing to throw myself under the bus and admit that I felt used and like a slut? What to do? What to do? What would you do?
I emailed him. I told him I didn't know what his relationship was with her, but he wasn't being honest or fair about it. He needed to understand his relationship and I wished him the best. I never heard a response from him.
For almost a month, I felt ill. Ill that I had done the wrong thing. That if this woman was in a relationship that she had every right to know. I periodically stalked her profile and the picture of the two of them remained. He never again posted anything about her or their plans and she had never posted anything on his wall on FB. I had a hard time sleeping with the decision to do nothing, from one woman to another, to not tell her. Is it once a cheater always a cheater? Or can people change?
He contacted me again this time by instant message. He said that he isn't perfect and he's working on bettering himself. He asked about my "date" that night, despite me telling him it wasn't a date a dozen times. I told him I still talk to my friend, yes. I then asked how is girlfriend was and he said "good". But he also said twice that he made mistakes, acknowledged them, paid for them and has moved on, thereby implying to me that they were done. She had changed her profile picture. I wondered if he was telling me a line. With my empathy skills, I couldn't battle with good vs. evil any longer and I emailed her.
The title was his name. I gave a generic email and said that I had seen her previous profile picture and wondered if they were dating. That I had wanted to contact her weeks previously but didn't want to meddle. I left the ball in her court that she could contact me if they were dating and if she wanted information. She contacted me that night and said that they were still dating and asked if I was a friend of his. She said she was interested in knowing what I knew.
I heard from him again that night by instant message. He didn't say anything about her or that I had contacted her, he didn't know, yet. I emailed her back the information. I have never heard back from her. I have never heard from him about it either.
I can sleep easy at night. My conscience is now clear. I didn't do it to hurt either one of them. Alcohol is no excuse for intimate behavior with someone other than whom you are in a relationship. If you aren't in a relationship, as consenting adults feel free to behave as you may.
I was compromised. I was manipulated. I was used. I had always questioned whether or not he was faithful with me during our relationship. He said he NEVER cheated on me. I don't know that I believe him and I really don't care. We are done and over. But the fact that I became that girl after the fact, bothered me.
What would you do? Was I wrong? Would it matter if you knew the other woman? Or is it just part of life and no one elses business but their own and I was just an innocent, active participant in something I didn't know?
I struggled in the situation or predicament that I found myself. I battled with a matter of good vs. evil, right vs. wrong, moral vs. immoral and well probably a 1000 other things, 'cause I'm not only good like that, I'm OCD in so many undiagnosed ways.
I question whether or not appropriate to blog about it, but I've found closure, closure for myself. Maybe I want feedback of what you would do. I asked several friends and confidants and none of them suggested to do what I ultimately did, but I tried it the other way, first.
An ex-boyfriend contacted me sometime ago to see if I wanted to get a drink. Let me reiterate that I'm not into the friends with benefits, but I'm not going to say that I've never, if not dating someone happened to see an ex. Whether it was to see if we made the right decision, see if feelings existed, or because we were single. Anyway, I was already out with a friend and I offered he could meet us. He made it out for last call. Seeing that he had just driven more than half an hour and neither of us were tired, I invited him back to the house to play ping pong. (I'm sure this sounds much worse than it was! Since we stopped dating he had purchased a ping pong table and felt that he had improved. I live a mile from the bar and my intentions were completely harmless - apparently, his were not.)
After a few hours of laughing and drinking and three games of ping pong later (and him mentioning he joined FB), we decided to play the Wii. It may have been approaching three, or four a.m. He had never once mentioned he was dating anyone and when I mentioned I wasn't, he confirmed that dating sucks. While playing the Wii, he kissed me. He was in no shape to drive home and we both had to work in the morning. Naive, I may be, because I really didn't think anything would or needed to happen as we were both exhausted. We went to bed. In the morning, when it was time for work, he called in. I called in late. We messed around, but I wasn't willing to have sex with him. I felt compromised and questioned his motivation and just wasn't feeling it.
He left mid-morning. There was no mention about when we would see each other, if, or even talk to each other. Then again, that's kind of how it was when we were actually dating too.
I decided to look him up on FB. His wall was viewable and he had posted several days earlier about spending quality time with "X" for the weekend. His posts the two weekends before were similar. Coincidentally this was the name of his former male boss as well. I looked through his friends and found a female by the same name. Her profile was private but her profile picture...was the two of them.
My heart sunk. I had a knot the size of a 10# weight in the pitt of my stomach. Had I become that girl? Without my knowledge, was I that girl? How was I suppose to know? I didn't know what to do. I wanted to contact her immediately and apologize for what I didn't know and what had happened. But should I get involved at all? If she were me, which during my relationship with him, I was her and I would have wanted to know. Would she believe me if I emailed her? Would I devastate her? Was I willing to throw myself under the bus and admit that I felt used and like a slut? What to do? What to do? What would you do?
I emailed him. I told him I didn't know what his relationship was with her, but he wasn't being honest or fair about it. He needed to understand his relationship and I wished him the best. I never heard a response from him.
For almost a month, I felt ill. Ill that I had done the wrong thing. That if this woman was in a relationship that she had every right to know. I periodically stalked her profile and the picture of the two of them remained. He never again posted anything about her or their plans and she had never posted anything on his wall on FB. I had a hard time sleeping with the decision to do nothing, from one woman to another, to not tell her. Is it once a cheater always a cheater? Or can people change?
He contacted me again this time by instant message. He said that he isn't perfect and he's working on bettering himself. He asked about my "date" that night, despite me telling him it wasn't a date a dozen times. I told him I still talk to my friend, yes. I then asked how is girlfriend was and he said "good". But he also said twice that he made mistakes, acknowledged them, paid for them and has moved on, thereby implying to me that they were done. She had changed her profile picture. I wondered if he was telling me a line. With my empathy skills, I couldn't battle with good vs. evil any longer and I emailed her.
The title was his name. I gave a generic email and said that I had seen her previous profile picture and wondered if they were dating. That I had wanted to contact her weeks previously but didn't want to meddle. I left the ball in her court that she could contact me if they were dating and if she wanted information. She contacted me that night and said that they were still dating and asked if I was a friend of his. She said she was interested in knowing what I knew.
I heard from him again that night by instant message. He didn't say anything about her or that I had contacted her, he didn't know, yet. I emailed her back the information. I have never heard back from her. I have never heard from him about it either.
I can sleep easy at night. My conscience is now clear. I didn't do it to hurt either one of them. Alcohol is no excuse for intimate behavior with someone other than whom you are in a relationship. If you aren't in a relationship, as consenting adults feel free to behave as you may.
I was compromised. I was manipulated. I was used. I had always questioned whether or not he was faithful with me during our relationship. He said he NEVER cheated on me. I don't know that I believe him and I really don't care. We are done and over. But the fact that I became that girl after the fact, bothered me.
What would you do? Was I wrong? Would it matter if you knew the other woman? Or is it just part of life and no one elses business but their own and I was just an innocent, active participant in something I didn't know?
Compromised...
I'm feeling like this is the word, my word...of the year. Not compromise - in the act of agreeing on something mutually determined, but compromised.
While it's obvious, I'm back from my most fabulous vacation with my mom - I'll blog about that later - I have more pressing shorter less thought provoking posts to whip out in a moment's notice about compromise. So maybe I'm compromising in my mind how quickly my thoughts will flow about more current issues in my mind than a vacation recap that may or may not include pictures. Having said that...
My flight arrived at the South Bend, Indiana airport, early on Friday. I used my credit card and paid for parking. I was in the midst of racing home to get my son who was waiting for my arrival at my house (another blog story) but had to get food for the house as well. My son sadly, err triumphantly agreed that I shop without him and I went to the grocery store en route home, of course in West Michigan. I purchased my groceries and ran my card at the self-checkout and then proceeded to bag my groceries. I packed the cart and walked off. The employee hollered at me to come back and pay. What?
I had swiped my card, but hadn't completed the transaction so it had defaulted back to asking to swipe the card again. I went back, swiped the card, hit the credit button and then grabbed my receipt.
Fast forward to the following day...my son and I went to see Bounty Hunter at the movies and I opted to pay cash (getting the idea of this post yet?). I hadn't hit the bank yet from my return back home and only had about $25 left after the movie. We went back out later for dinner at Olive Garden. There were some issues with the meal - flying chicken to be precise - which then had the Manager at our table twice apologizing and getting me a new piece (blah, blah, blah) and offering free dessert - which we both denied as we were beyond stuffed. The bill came and I sent it off with my credit card. The waiter came back and said, "Mam, I ran your card several times, it was DENIED."
WHAT? I had used it twice the day before without any issue. I pay my card off every month. I was nowhere near the credit limit. What in the world was going on?
I called the credit card company, while the waiter came back three times to attempt to take the bill. If I had cash to pay it, I clearly would have, I didn't. If I carried one of my other half dozen cards, I would have used one. I don't. Thoughts of doing dishes or leaving behind my son while I drove to find an ATM (on a tank of gas quickly approaching E) raced through my mind as I talked on the phone with the foreigner, NATASHA.
After a dozen questions to verify my identity including the name of my first hamster and the name of my future never to be born child, she was able to "talk" to me. If that's what it's called when someone condescendingly talks to you about things for your own "good" and "safety". She said, "I'm sorry 'mam your account has been deactivated. The Fraud team has been investigating and we believe that your account, along with other consumers, has been COMPROMISED. We will be sending a new card immediately. You should receive it in the next 7-10 business days."
SERIOUSLY?
She admitted that there didn't appear to be any unauthorized charges to my account, yet. She admitted that no one had bothered to contact me to inform me of concerns that a fraud team was investigating AND that they had deactivated my account. She admitted, that in fact the card would be mailed out today.
And what in the world was I suppose to do in the meantime?
Well she was sorry, but you know, it was for my own good. She finally agreed, after another five minutes, to reactivate my account only to pay my dinner bill (I wasn't going to push the tip too!) and then would immediately deactivate my account again.
I immediately then found the closest ATM machine to the restaurant so that I had money to fill my tank.
Is there anytime that being COMPROMISED is a good thing?
According to my credit card company, for my own safety even though I actually wasn't compromised, I could have been, precautionary measures of course mean drastic measures.
Sigh...Of the first three credit cards I grabbed this morning from a drawer, only one is not expired (all three still have the validation stickers on them). I'm sure IF I need to use it in the next 7-10 business days, it will be denied since it hasn't been authorized or used in over a year!
While it's obvious, I'm back from my most fabulous vacation with my mom - I'll blog about that later - I have more pressing shorter less thought provoking posts to whip out in a moment's notice about compromise. So maybe I'm compromising in my mind how quickly my thoughts will flow about more current issues in my mind than a vacation recap that may or may not include pictures. Having said that...
My flight arrived at the South Bend, Indiana airport, early on Friday. I used my credit card and paid for parking. I was in the midst of racing home to get my son who was waiting for my arrival at my house (another blog story) but had to get food for the house as well. My son sadly, err triumphantly agreed that I shop without him and I went to the grocery store en route home, of course in West Michigan. I purchased my groceries and ran my card at the self-checkout and then proceeded to bag my groceries. I packed the cart and walked off. The employee hollered at me to come back and pay. What?
I had swiped my card, but hadn't completed the transaction so it had defaulted back to asking to swipe the card again. I went back, swiped the card, hit the credit button and then grabbed my receipt.
Fast forward to the following day...my son and I went to see Bounty Hunter at the movies and I opted to pay cash (getting the idea of this post yet?). I hadn't hit the bank yet from my return back home and only had about $25 left after the movie. We went back out later for dinner at Olive Garden. There were some issues with the meal - flying chicken to be precise - which then had the Manager at our table twice apologizing and getting me a new piece (blah, blah, blah) and offering free dessert - which we both denied as we were beyond stuffed. The bill came and I sent it off with my credit card. The waiter came back and said, "Mam, I ran your card several times, it was DENIED."
WHAT? I had used it twice the day before without any issue. I pay my card off every month. I was nowhere near the credit limit. What in the world was going on?
I called the credit card company, while the waiter came back three times to attempt to take the bill. If I had cash to pay it, I clearly would have, I didn't. If I carried one of my other half dozen cards, I would have used one. I don't. Thoughts of doing dishes or leaving behind my son while I drove to find an ATM (on a tank of gas quickly approaching E) raced through my mind as I talked on the phone with the foreigner, NATASHA.
After a dozen questions to verify my identity including the name of my first hamster and the name of my future never to be born child, she was able to "talk" to me. If that's what it's called when someone condescendingly talks to you about things for your own "good" and "safety". She said, "I'm sorry 'mam your account has been deactivated. The Fraud team has been investigating and we believe that your account, along with other consumers, has been COMPROMISED. We will be sending a new card immediately. You should receive it in the next 7-10 business days."
SERIOUSLY?
She admitted that there didn't appear to be any unauthorized charges to my account, yet. She admitted that no one had bothered to contact me to inform me of concerns that a fraud team was investigating AND that they had deactivated my account. She admitted, that in fact the card would be mailed out today.
And what in the world was I suppose to do in the meantime?
Well she was sorry, but you know, it was for my own good. She finally agreed, after another five minutes, to reactivate my account only to pay my dinner bill (I wasn't going to push the tip too!) and then would immediately deactivate my account again.
I immediately then found the closest ATM machine to the restaurant so that I had money to fill my tank.
Is there anytime that being COMPROMISED is a good thing?
According to my credit card company, for my own safety even though I actually wasn't compromised, I could have been, precautionary measures of course mean drastic measures.
Sigh...Of the first three credit cards I grabbed this morning from a drawer, only one is not expired (all three still have the validation stickers on them). I'm sure IF I need to use it in the next 7-10 business days, it will be denied since it hasn't been authorized or used in over a year!
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