Monday, March 29, 2010

Wow...what matters?

I finally made my way to bed sometime before 2a.m. this morning. I think I may have fallen asleep, or was right at the brink of sleep when I was startled awake by screaming. Screaming coming from outside.

Screaming a deathly screaming screech. The sound of a small child or someone in extreme anguish. The screaming didn't subside. I stumbled out of bed. Maneuvered poorly around in the dark. Grabbed my glasses, thought of grabbing a phone to call 911, but didn't. Ran into the hallway door en route to the front door. The screaming continued.

I opened the front door. I scanned the street. I didn't say anyone. I listened. I heard IT.

A CAT. A DAMN CAT - LIKELY IN HEAT.

The thought crossed my mind of strangling the cat. The thought that at this very moment - I'm SO NOT a pet lover. I went back to bed. The screaming continued. I covered my head under the comforter. The screaming continued.

I thought about writing a post titled "8 Minutes & the Pussy" and how to put a humorous spin on it. 8 Minutes was the amount of time I spent in an upright tanner getting burned before my upcoming trip. And the cat that prevented me from sleeping for another several hours.

But all of it really doesn't seem to matter...now.

I called my son's dad to discuss practice tonight and spring break since he hadn't responded to my email from last week. In his "man of few words" I learned that he may need me to get my son as soon as possible when I return from my vacation. Why?

What it boils down to, my son's father has cancer. He will require surgery and a week in the hospital. He divulged no chemo or radiation necessary. He detected it because of a problem and has been working on scheduling and such for the past few months. T is his only "loose end" but the date of surgery isn't definite.

Just puts things into perspective. While I'm not privy to much information, I do know that is my son's father. I wish him well. Regardless of everything, I have never wished him ill will. And to those that believe in karma, even that gives me no solace. I really do wish him the best, not only for him, for his family, for his other child, but for our son. Our Son.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

She said WHAT?

My co-w0rker has this tendency to blurt out random things, often times before she thinks. Today we have a potluck luncheon for a worker who has transferred positions, but will still be working in our office.

Sometimes I wonder how things really sound to innocent bystanders.

Here is what she said:

"So let me know when you go down, k?"


Wow, did she really just say that? I'm rendered speechless...

My Mood & Helping Abilities...

Today I am in one of those moods. I can't really describe it. I can't really put my finger on it. I went home sick yesterday from work and spent hours in bed. I got up and then plopped myself in front of the television and watched two movies, Precious and Brothers. I was completely unproductive and I'm still not feeling all that fantabulous (or is is craptastic?) today either.

And when I say one of those moods, this is what I mean:

I received an email today from someone that I'm tired of playing his games. He says he wants to see me, but can't seem to find or make the time. Whether I'm one of many or he really just is that busy, right now, I just don't care.

So when I received this brief email from him, "i miss seeing you!!! Can you help me with that?"

What did I do in my funk of a mood you ask? I responded by writing, "I'm a helper by nature...here's a picture to help you out! =)"

Anything I can do for you - since I'm feeling oh so generous and giving?

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I Believe...Words to the Wise....

I Believe...
That just because two people argue,
It doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
It doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if
We understand that friends change.

I Believe....
That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant
That will give you heartache for life.

I Believe....
That it's taking me a long time
To become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with
Loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe....
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe....
That we are responsible for what
We do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I Believe....
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe....
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
But that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe....
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe....
That it isn't always enough,
to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe....
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
But, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.

I Believe....
Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give,
When a friend cries out to you -
you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.

'The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything they have.

Vacation

This morning I realized, in almost a week, I will be on vacation! I can't believe how quickly time has passed that my vacation and first cruise is literally right around the corner.

I didn't manage to actually lose weight before my vacation. I didn't actually make myself want to be seen in a bathing suit - regardless if it is from neck to toe and I won't be seen in front of anyone I know, other than my mom! I almost managed to start excerising again. Almost. I've been walking several times a week, so it's a start from where I found myself stagnant and unmotivated.

I didn't actually manage to go to the tanner to stave off sunburn. Granted, this was completely not high on my priority list, but...

I have yet to try on clothes or consider packing. I'm hoping that Florida and Mexico will be warm and I won't have to wear sweaters and multiple layers over my spring and summer dresses! I'm really hoping to pack rather light. As light as possible, for ten days. That is, IF...

My son's dad realizes that it is his spring break. Sigh. I continuously keep asking my son if he and his dad have plans for spring break. I know that they won't. But I ask to hope that he will ask his dad and remind him that it is his spring break. Is this passive agressive behavior by using my son? Maybe.

Last night my son tells me, "My dad says it's your spring break Mom." In my most calm, polite, voice I say, "No. We went to Florida last year for spring break and the year before I was in Europe. It's your dad's spring break." He replies, "Yeah, I know Mom. But...Dad says he's going to have to check and look into it."

Sigh...Every. Single. Time.

Sometimes, people really seem to regret what they ask for. He wanted alternating spring break and Christmas breaks and three weeks in the summer, despite that we have joint custody. HE WANTED IT. Granted he only wanted it to lower his child support, which backfired, literally.

2008 was the first year of alternating spring breaks. I went to Europe. They went...nowhere. The summer weeks I had T we went to Grenada and Trinidad. They went...nowhere. I went to Mexico and long weekends during my time without T. 2009, T and I went to Florida for spring break. We went up north Michigan for one of our weeks and to visit family the other. They went...nowhere. He didn't exercise his summer weeks that year and only one week in 2008. Christmas break 2009, I went to Colorado. Spring Break 2010, Florida and a cruise to Mexico.

I am LOVING his idea of alternating breaks and extended weeks in the summer! I have utilized them to my full advantage - however, there has yet to not be conflict in getting him to acknowledge that I'm exercising them and it is or isn't his parenting time responsibility, each and every time. This spring break is obviously no different.

So I just realized this morning that I have two nights, two nights between now and when I leave that I won't have my son. Two. And one of those nights, his dad has a "meeting" and can't be responsible for our son and baseball.

Whatelse is new? Five more years....five more years...

'Tis the Season...of Baseball and...

Last night was my son's first baseball practice. I always seem to forget, or bury it in the deep recesses of my mind, how much fun baseball season. The feelings repressed of disdain and annoyance and the other half of the parental figure for my son and just general chauvinism at it's worst.


Last week I received a message for my son's dad from the coach of my son's baseball team. A day after the coach called and spoke only to my son. As if my quickly approaching thirteen year old son has an excellent memory to remember the details of practice, good thing I was sitting next to him and could hear the entire conversation. So the next day, there was a message from the coach inquiring if my son's dad could assist with coaching. I called him back and informed him of how to reach his father (and it wasn't to call HELL!). Not once did the coach ask if I had any baseball experience or if I would like to help assist.

My son's dad had to confirm with my son when practice was last night and told him that he would be there. Think he could offer to drive the 1.5 miles out of the way to pick up our son and take him to practice so that I don't have to? Of course not.

There wasn't a meeting at the start of practice, other than for the boys. An introduction of the coaches - all six of them for twelve teenage boys! Seriously? How many men does it take to coach a team?

They are looking for someone to keep the stats. I think I'm going to go in cognito and unless specifically asked, I'm going to take a season off. The first season in almost seven years of score keeping!

After practice my son's dad called our son. Called him to ask if I could take our son to practice next Monday night. Didn't call me. Didn't ask me. At what point, will he grow up?

Monday, March 22, 2010

March 20

A day of firsts...

Thirteen years ago on March 20, 1997, I gave birth to my son. A true gift. A blessing. An amazement. I am thankful for every day, every day that he has been part of my life. He has brought so much joy, happiness, and maturity to my life. I couldn't imagine my life without him. It is truly amazing how sometimes the things that are unplanned, which we are completely unprepared, turn into our greatest treasures and successes.

T was with his dad this weekend. He may be celebrating his birthday with several friends next weekend. I'm pretty much left in the dark on this one - seeing that invitations aren't really for teenagers. So I'm putting it all in my son's hands and winging it that there may or may not be kids that just come over to stay the night! I surely hope I know before anyone arrives!

On March 20, 2010, I taught my first training class. A required training for prospective foster parents. It was my first training and I have to say I didn't feel completely prepared, but as prepared as I was going to be. With some help from the trainer before me and another on the phone, we were able to connect my laptop to the projector and everything was a go.

I thought the training went really well. I actually really enjoyed it and am looking forward to teaching more. I may even volunteer to teach more than I'm required. I would just prefer that the trainings weren't in the evenings or on the weekend! I was able to dismiss the class about ten minutes early. I had a few stay after to ask questions, with the final woman staying to talk to me for an hour. So by the time I locked up the building, it was over 1.5 hours after my training ended!

Another new momentous first on March 20, 2010. I'm almost thinking that maybe I've found my niche. Sharing, speaking, training...as long as I wear a turtleneck so no one can see my neck get blotchy, I might have a future!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Irish Dinner Photos

The Irish Dinner was fabulous. The people that I met were entertaining and it was a good time by all. I was more than pleasantly surprised that I liked everything that we made too! Here are a few of the pictures of our meal:




Started the evening off with Guinness. I didn't pull out the camera until the dinner was almost completely made, which meant the appetizers were already primarily devoured!


Guinness Fondue with bread pieces


Apple Slices with Irish Cheeses

Irish soda bread (was brought so one less thing we had to make!)

Shepherd's pie with lamb


Corned beef with a stone ground mustard crust & cabbage, Orange-Pineapple marmalade glazed carrots, Atlantic Cod with a cheese scone topping and Mashed potatoes with butter and scallions



Irish bread pudding with a Caramel Whiskey Sauce and Irish Cream cheesecake

Friday, March 19, 2010

Helpless: Dilation

This morning I had an eye appointment. For those that may follow my blog or know me, you know I have serious eye issues. In summary, I had RK on one eye back in 1992. Since then, I have battled craziness, blurred vision, instability, independence (eyes do not work together) to name a few. I'm not a fan of eye doctors to say the least. Lasik is not an option on the eye that has not had surgery as my vision is so poor, it would help but not eliminate the need for corrective lens. I deal with it. Is what it is. The non-surgical enhanced eye is healthy though the vision is so poor, it is correctable, for now.

Needless to say, going to the eye doctor is a mere joke in so many ways. "Like this, or like that?" This - but I really mean the second one, so should I say that? Bottomline, no options from A and B, 1 and 2, this or that, make the blurriness, the haziness, the halos disappear. I focus hard on whether the letters change - get better or worse, they seldom do. They all look bad. Again, I feel like a failure, that I failed the eye test. But in reality, they do all look the same, crappy and I told the doctor so.

Today he recommended a gas permeable lens with a "skirt". Ah, doesn't that sound feminine? Of course, there is no assurance that it will actually help my vision or make it less blurry. For a $200 trial fee, I can try it. Then if I like it, it costs $1000 for two of them that last six months each. So for $1200 a year, I may find a lens that may somewhat enhance my clarity. May.

Anyway, my real issue today...dilation. The doctor asked if I wanted to have my eyes dilated. I am in one of those complacent moods, soft spoken, easy going, whatever moods. Sell me a burning bridge and I'll be the first rave about it, as long as you said it was a good deal and I need it. Ok, maybe that's not completely true since I didn't want to try the gas permeable. Anyhow...he said he wanted to look into my eyes and asked if I was OK with them being dilated. If he says he needs to, sobeit right? What's another eye drop after the iodine? Or not.

I guess I forgot what the after math of dilation entails. Immediately my eyes started to tighten, itch, water and become very uncomfortable. I asked the girl that orders the lenses how long it would last and if it would get worse. Yes and the vision will be affected for...4-6 HOURS.

WHAT? Today I have so much to do at work to get prepared for my first teaching class tomorrow. Today is the worst day possible. She basically said, "You won't be able to read any fine print." WHAT?

I had to swing by another agency and drop something off. I also had to get an attendance sheet for the training. I couldn't read it. I couldn't read material I was referencing in the training book. I couldn't read a lot.

I noticed when I got back to my office to make copies of the attendance sheet that I thought it said "February 20". I asked my old Supervisor for assistance on what it said and she said, "Fucking C, I don't know what FCN stands for." What? Clearly she was messing with me and when I explained that I couldn't see it, she empathized, apologized and confirmed that in fact there was a February date on the sign in. Since then, I have had difficulty reading any emails, seeing any fine print.

I had to make changes to the attendance sheet in excel. I wanted to change the font, the format, the print, the boxes, the header, etc. Probably not a good day to do it! I know how to navigate excel but not without being able to read the drop downs. I had to ask a co-worker for assistance, twice. I went to make copies on the copier and somehow ended up with a screen that I have never seen. I couldn't clear it or cancel it. I asked a third person for assistance - one who over heard the conversation with my old boss who just laughed. Then she admitted that she didn't know what I hit on the copier and how to clear it. The solution? Turn it off and turn it back on. She asked if I could find the start button. Sigh.

It is going to be a very long and trying day. I'm not used to asking for help and this is clearly making me branch out to ask. It also makes me feel completely incompetent.

My boss noticed immediately something about my eyes when I walked in his office to get a Post-it Table Top Pad. He asked what was going on. I told him. I also told him I may need to take the rest of the afternoon off. While I have a lot to do, I can't see things to get it done right. Fortunately I can type without looking at the keys and far enough from the screen, I can see OK.

Happy Friday everyone. I can only hope that time passes quickly. I have a wall sheet I have to make but at this point I still can't see the writing that I need to write on the Easel.

Long day indeed...

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Chinese Directions

I've always been one to complain about comprehending directions. I'm more of a black and white person. I say it like it is and I expect the same in return; however, seldom are life and relationships so simple. Directions are no different.

It seems like when I was young, directions were easy to understand but hard to implement with my naivete and the massive amount of pieces. I've noticed over the past decade or directions seem to make far less sense, despite my ability to comprehend them, if possible. More often than not, following pictures is the best method as following directions seldom get you to the correct end result and often leave you with extra pieces.

Maybe part of the problem with reading directions is that it appears that 99.9% of things are made in foreign countries. Therefore, the directions in english would also be foreign whereas things are lost in translation.

T received a package "Water Crystal" for his birthday from grandma. They are made in China.

Here is a prime example of deciphering directions gone bad:

1. Open to wrap to take out, soak it by few drinking, water the quantity take just drowning it as proper, calmed down to place for 10-20 minutes, treated it to deliver bulge, added 1000-1600g water again.
2. Need 10-48 hours to inflate well, filter the surplus humidity, pack to go into the transparent container that can increase its pleasant impression.
3. Join the plant nourishment liquid, can plant indoor green plant.
4. Join fragrance extract and its increases melting agent, can make gorgeous perfume bead.
5. Can also used for an other indoor decorate, inflation toy, candlestick, etc.

Regulation
Make the sunlight keep shoot not
Avoid eating its mistake
The usage of the child, should be serve as guardian by the parent.
Appearing to lose a water a dry empress can add a water to make it once more absorb water to release a water again and again. Normal usage, the term can reach to for a year above.

Anyone have any idea what Water Crystals are and what you are suppose to do with them or how you make them? So glad that the majority of things are made in foreign countries...sigh.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

St. Patrick's Day

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!

I hadn't really decided what I wanted to do to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, if I wanted to celebrate at all. While I definitely have Irish roots, I've never been a big fan of Irish food - especially corned beef and cabbage. The smell of cooked cabbage is completely repulsive to me, to the point that I want to hurl!

Initially, due to my schedule, I had made plans to go out with someone I've periodically been spending time with, whom I actually may even like. Like in the sense, that for the first time in a long time, I even initiated a kiss (Caught me more than off guard too!). But between our schedules with our children and work and, and, and...it's just been difficult to really make the time to date without it becoming a part-time job. So I've decided, again, to just not worry about it and erased the penciled in plans of tonight and tomorrow from the books.

Considering St. Patty's Day is the need to drink green beer as well as eat other foods that would be deemed non-consumable or dyed to be festive, I debated whether or not to bar hop. Lots of options, for sure. Wasn't really up for a late night out with more than the norm of intoxicants out celebrating, but hadn't decided, that is until 11p.m., last night.

I found myself in a rather peculiar predicament, certainly not one that I couldn't get myself out of, but the kind where you ask about something and it gets passed on and then...

Long story short, I will be attending an Irish Dinner this evening. I had initially declined of course if the menu was going to include corned beef and cabbage. I love the idea of meeting new people, new experiences and new food, but figured an Irish meal wasn't my first choice. However, I was interested in meeting the host of the dinner to see about having a cooking class in her home, one I purchased for 12 - back during the last auction. I just wasn't ready to inquire of her, yet. She contacted me to see if I wanted to attend the dinner, since she heard I inquired (I inquired about HER not the dinner!). And well, WHY NOT?

Here is the menu for tonight's dinner that we are going to make. I surely wonder if we will be able to cook it all before midnight, let alone next week!:

Corned beef with a stone ground mustard crust & cabbage, served with three fabulous sauces
Orange marmalade glazed carrots
Atlantic Cod with a cheese scone topping
Mashed potatoes with butter and scallions (champ)
Shepherd's pie with lamb
Irish soda bread
Irish cheeses served on apple slices
Guinness fondue
Irish bread pudding with a Caramel Whiskey Sauce
Irish Cream cheesecake
Irish coffee, Guinness and soft drinks
Looking forward to a night of new adventures - maybe now that I'm older, I might even like something on the menu beyond the apples!
Have a great day and be safe in whatever you choose to do on this St. Patty's Day!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

T's Television

T and I went television shopping on Saturday after his NHD school event. Trust me, it was a long day! We spent a few hours television shopping and I took notes on what T was interested so that he could comparison shop. It amazed me how easily he was able to part with his money, especially since he really liked the idea of buying his own television for the basement.

He narrowed the search down to two televisions. Different brands, 2" difference, "as is" vs. new and different stores. I was completely not in favor of the "as is" which was identified as having been purchased and returned two days later. It was a Sony Bravia 40". The other television was 42" Philips, new for $2.00 less; however, the Bravia was at ABC where they are willing to beat any price (or so they claim). After T made numerous calls to DK who was internet comparison shopping and giving customer reviews, T decided he wanted to "wheel and deal" at ABC Warehouse. Needless to say the Customer Service Reps laughed in his face when he walked in and said I (in dress clothes - pants, shirt, tie, dress shoes and almost 13 years old) "I want to wheel and deal. I'll give you $450 out the door!"

I have to admit that seeing that it was his gig, I kept completely out of it, standing on the sideline. A different CSR said, "You can't even get a 32" for that price!!!" So T and I looked at each other, said OK and walked toward the door. The initial CSR hollered, "I'll give it to you for $565 plus tax!" At this point, I finally said something which included purchasing a brand new television, with warranty, never open, two inches bigger and significantly less. The guy then asked where and when I told him he said, if it's a Philips, yeah we don't carry that. Seriously, I don't know how they stay in business - I've never had decent customer service there or anything even remotely price competitive to anywhere else!




T was actually rather bummed though. While the same Philips television was at Sam's club and $60 less than the price at Meijer, with the Meijer discount on Monday, it would be over $60 less than Sam's. T was hoping that he could be with me to purchase his television and ride in the car with it and bring it in the house. Unfortunately, unless he wanted to go before school, it just wasn't possible as he was with his dad in the evening.

I picked up the television during the day. Unfortunately the first Meijer I went to didn't have one left. The Meijer across town did and off I went to purchase the television. It fit rather nicely in the back of my car, not the tight squeeze of the 47" television I purchased! I have to admit it went in the car with the help of the sales woman much easier than me getting it out of the car solo! The television was downstairs, still in the box, when T arrived home from school.

He was super excited to have his television. He wanted to set it up, but wasn't going to do so with me at work. Good thing, since the television is heavy, way too heavy for him alone!

I did set up the television tonight, struggling with whether or not to wait for him or not. JA is coming over to sleep though in the morning as she has a house showing, so I didn't want her to be without television. The television is all hooked up and I even got it working! I'm making progress with my electronics! I'll work on putting the room back together later!

I have to say though, the television still looks very small along the basement wall. The old television might have been a 27" or 29" and this is a 42" and it still looks small. Exactly how is that? I think it has to do with the difference in the size of the television box vs. the flat screen. He wants to keep both televisions downstairs and connected to utilize both for his party and the ability to play different gaming systems simultaneously.



What a boy wants, what a boy needs, whatever makes him happy...

Purchases

Today was a day of big purchases. Personally, I had hoped to spend a lot more money than I did, but practicality and rationality decided to pay me a visit, and well their presence persevered.




I was hoping to purchase a grill. I'm tired of thinking for the last few years about buying a grill and never actually buying a grill. With the extra 15% with my credit card, I decided now was the time to get the grill. Although the Meijer I was at (the 3rd time of the day!) didn't have it and since it was now almost 9p.m. I took it as a sign that maybe I didn't need to buy a grill., today. Meijer across town confirmed they had the grill, but I just didn't want to drive back and forth across town, yet again. So I suppose I'll do a little more grill shopping rather than the impulse purchase based on 15% off. I briefly looked on Saturday while t.v. shopping and found a few that looked decent at Sam's Club and Sears.



I also decided I should invest some more into shower curtains. I really need to seek help for my shower curtain addiction. I suppose I could have a shoe or clothes fetish or collect collectibles of roosters or cows. Clearly it could be worse! With my addiction, only one shower curtain is seen at a time, the others all neatly stacked away in the closet! So I figured I would just drop $100 into shower curtains and get several, although I thought better and settled on two. One that made me think of light, happy, girly, pink, Spring, fun thoughts and another that is brooding, deep and pretty. I couldn't handle another day of the "inspirational" shower curtain so down it came and up went my Spring pink curtain!




The upcoming forecast prediction of snow on Sunday isn't going to keep me from thinking Spring!

Friday, March 12, 2010

The Breakfast Club

The movie the Breakfast Club came out in the mid-1980's, 1985 to be exact. I would have been eleven that year. I loved that movie.
I'm not sure who I could relate to the most. I was probably a mixture of a few - the nerd and the loner. I was probably the most like Ally Sheedy. I was quiet and had dark hair and despite not having any artistic talent, I could have added snowflakes to any piece of paper in front of me too! Head and Shoulders should have been my friend!

A group of friends and I went out recently for a charity event. I love each and every friend, very much, for all different reasons. The common denominator of the group, is me, and in some solemn dark corner of my mind that makes me uneasy. Afraid to disappoint. Afraid to fail. Afraid that one day, my friends won't be my friends anymore or they will like each other more. Really, it does bring me back to those pre-adolescent and high school days. Not all the time do I think these things, but I would lie if I said they didn't occasionally creep into my mind. Friends afterall are a rare find. A true diamond in the rough.

We took a picture, the five of us. And when I saw it...I had to laugh. The first thing I thought of...The Breakfast Club. The Breakfast Club of 2010. While I'm sure if any of my friends actually read my blog, they would kill me or disown me or defriend me for posting this...



But I love this picture and I want to share! So what do you think? See any resemblance?

Spending Fetish

This morning I was listening to the radio announcer try to rationalize his desire for a hot tub. He and his wife are expecting their first child. He feels that with his tax refund, they should splurge on relaxation.

What do you or did you spend your tax refund on?

Last year, I didn't spend any of my refund. The year before, it went toward international vacations, but not even so much as I worked a lot of overtime that year which afforded me my leisure activities. This year, I want to finally buy a grill. I also would love new living room furniture. But the furniture, isn't a necessity. Not at all. Just a want.

I'm not a big spender. I spend when I need things more than when I want things. Besides, I have much more than I could ever need.

But there is one weakness of mine. Those that know me, even if not well, likely know what it is. It isn't on food or jewelry or purses or shoes...no it is on...

Shower curtains.

There, I've said it again. I have a complete compulsive purchase fetish with shower curtains. So when I realized last Friday morning that I didn't have my purse - it wasn't in my house and it wasn't in my car, I hoped I left it at the office. I had the day off work so I called a co-worker who was on her way in to look in my office for it. She called me back. It. Wasn't. There. WHAT?

Where in the world could it have been? I racked my brain a hundred times in a matter of milliseconds. It had to be. Didn't it? Then I remembered, the family that came in after hours to my office to meet me. I had to grab my keycard, so I grabbed my purse, let them in and we met in an interview room, in our building, which is locked to the general public. I escorted them out and left my purse on the chair. My co-worker then went in the room while talking to me on her cell. It. Wasn't. There. WHAT?

I left the office after hours and called before right when the office had opened. The Cleaning Crew? Fortunately, my co-worker was able to locate my purse, behind the front desk of our office. I was sooo glad and so very thankful to have had it found and left untouched.

What did I do next? Well actually after I picked it up I went to the bank to deposit a few checks, except it was before nine and the bank didn't open until 9:30a.m. So I went shopping at Meijer to grab a few things and kill some time. And what aisle did I ultimately end up in? Yes, the shower curtain aisle!

I admit it, I need help. There were actually several shower curtains that I liked and I figure with my tax refund I may just buy several of them! But that day, thankful as I was, I splurged on a shower curtain and rings that weren't on sale. They are the colors of my bathroom and actually the curtain is quite spiritual/religious. I haven't decided how much I like it, especially when I'm using the bathroom and reading the shower curtain, but I was moved to buy it.


Here's to my shower curtain and thankful cleaning crew/honest people! So while I could have contributed more to the economy that day by giving thanks, it's the small things that matter most! Like my shower curtain! (On a side note, I did go to a benefit dance for Cystic Fibrosis the following night and donated quite well for the cause and to give thanks! So it really isn't JUST about my shower curtains!)

What small thing(s) do you treasure/crave most?

Ping Pong Update

T had his ping pong tournament a week ago. Of course he didn't practice as much as he should have. There were several pools and he ended up in one of the most difficult pools. He lost to a young man that was undefeated and clearly could have beat adults. After that loss since only the first place person in the pool advanced, T didn't really try during his next competition. He finished third of five in his pool. DK didn't do very well in his men's single tournament either. Fortunately for me, I wasn't there to watch it!

T and DK then played in the Dad and Son event. Like years past, they still do not have any age restrictions on the "son". Two years ago they were beat by a father/son combo that the son was in his twenties. T was ten. They came in second.

This year was the repeat. T and DK won their pool and since there were only two pools, that assured them runner up/2nd place. The Championship game was a mere joke as the son is likely in his late 20's now, they crushed T and DK. Regardless, T was really excited to get another trophy!

Regionals

My son is participating in the Regional Competition for National History Day. It is being held at a nearby college. Well 40 minutes away nearby.


A week ago he shared with me that he would be missing his baseball draft. What? I have NHD Regionals. Since when? Sigh, 'cause I'm a good parent and I remember these things from September, if your child advances to Regionals it will be held on March 13. Right, of course I remember these things, like I remember where I put my purse! (Since I have now left my purse twice in the past week - once in a conference room at work and I had to retrieve it the next morning, on my day off! And then Thursday I left it at a friend's house.)


I've considered driving him back for the tryouts, but it just doesn't make sense. Besides, one of the coaches moved up and I would love to have T on his team. We have been on AllStar teams together and I've enjoyed his coaching abilities. Seeing that T is moving up a league, there are mainly all new coaches, coaches that don't know T. I'm OK with that as it may give him a better chance to be with LK. Ultimately, I'm just glad that his coach for the past six years is not coaching this year. I do believe in miracles.

Tonight while walking T said that his teacher would be bringing a tie for him tomorrow. What? He has a tie, at his dad's, from his great grandmother's funeral. Dress pants too. Where are they? At his dad's. But...he did bring back his dress shoes. Sigh.

Clearly, I'm not going to have him wear a tie from his teacher. We aren't a charity case. And seeing that T wanted to wear a striped shirt of blues and blacks, who knows if the tie would even match. So, after our hour walk, we got home and he tried on more clothes. Then off we went to shop. Our favorite activity. One of the many. Not.

We head over to Kohl's since everything is on sale and I had an additional 15% off coupon. T hates, hates, hates blue jeans. I occasionally buy him a pair and he outgrows them after wearing them once. For some reason, he believes that blue jeans are dress pants. There were a couple pair on the clearance rack and he actually liked them. He went on to tell me how his friends tease him that he never wears jeans. Both pairs fit him and we bought them. Totally the reason for going shopping tonight. Not.

We found a pair of black dress pants and he is now in "husky". He's put on some weight, as have I, and tonight he blamed it on our Grenada trip in 2008. That he's gained weight ever since then because we ate so late and he doesn't eat as well anymore. He thinks it's affected his metabolism. I think we exercise less and eat worse. But anyway. He picked out a shirt/tie combo (clip on - which he thinks is the BEST EVER!) that fit really well. Did you know they have zip ties? They are most bizarre. Anyway...

We also went sock shopping. And belt shopping. Nothing like shopping the night before a BIG event where he is to be judged on a website he created and get through an interview. He even asked if he should wear cologne but was sensitive enough to know that even one spray would make me gag on the drive over. I suggested that he should spray it when we get there. He offered he could spray it on before bed so it would be just right in the morning. Smart kid.

He really is growing up, despite the clip on tie! Dress pants, dress shirt (that I even ironed both - my favorite!), tie, dress socks and shoes...It's almost like I'm dressing him for his first dance.

Ah, eighth grade dance...I still have one more year...one more year...how time flies!

T's Birthday

T will be turning 13 in mid-March. THIRTEEN! A TEENAGER.

Sometimes it's hard to fathom. It still amazes me when I meet new people and the conversation of kids come up and how shocked people are that I not only have a child, but a child who will be 13. I'm not sure if that means that I present as too immature or too young to have a child of his age. I think more often than not, it is because the people I keep meeting and hanging out with, don't have children and have never been married.

T and I couldn't remember what his birthday present was when he turned 12. Completely forgettable. When he turned 11 we went to the Piston's game. He suggested I call Grandma because "she would know!" He said, "She can't remember her passwords but she can remember what we did!"

I offered to take him to see Uncle Kraker. What better than a concert to the first group CD T ever received (at 5, 'cause I'm a good mom!)? So while there really was memories attached to the offer, I really personally wanted to see them. Unfortunately T has decided, "I don't really like concerts." Sigh...

He expressed that other than a Michigan (U of M) game, he has been to every event possible with me.

I offered a weekend in Chicago. To tour the museums and aquarium. He wasn't interested.

All he could come up with for gifts were head phones, a printer and a Wii game. Now how exciting is that for a 13th birthday? He wanted to have an all-nighter and I told him sure, because afterall he's with his dad on his birthday! The reality though, I would allow it, but T can't muster to stay awake much past 10:30p.m. let alone midnight or the next day!

I offered a party. I offered an outing. I offered events. He decided he wanted a sleepover, at his dad's because really the only time to celebrate, is on that day! Where that comes from, I have no idea since we rarely if ever celebrate any day on that day! I'm not one for that, it's about the event or the purpose than the actual day of celebration.

So tonight on our walk, we discussed his birthday again. He thinks he wants a sleepover party. He wants to invite five 7th graders. Because my car only seats four others, I can't transport them anywhere, which is actually fine with me! I talked about pizza and movies and games - Wii, X-box, board, etc. It would be relatively affordable with just getting pizza, snacks, cake and ice cream.

Cake he says? "Can't I have birthday pie? Like birthday pumpkin pie with thirteen candles?"

Seriously? Who wants pumpkin pie for their birthday? My son. He decided that my carrot cake would be fabulous! Even though it is, I would definitely have other options, you know, for the normal kids!

Then, I came up with a good idea. Mainly because I have been thinking about it for a while. I told T I would give him $130 for his birthday, $10 for every year and he could buy a television with it. We could shop and he could pick it out. Of course I realize that I would have to pay for the cable and likely the stand in addition to his birthday money. Then he would have to pay the difference from his bank, which he recalled having several hundred dollars in it - because he did make at least three $100 deposits over the years.

And so there I have it. For his thirteenth birthday he will be contributing to buying a big screen television for the basement. In doing so, he can then use the basement for all of his gaming consoles since it's actually more roomy than the living room. A dungeon hangout for him and his friends! Since he will be spending his money on a great majority of it, he will be more careful and appreciative of his t.v. Then, I won't feel so bad for tapping into his money rather than my own (afterall, I really am going to buy a grill this year - hopefully very soon!). He'll also have a birthday party/overnighter with his friends (assuming they can come!) to officially welcome him as a TEENAGER.

Sigh. I'm so glad that's been decided. I'm tired of all the grey hairs trying to make his birthday a memorable one! Here's hoping it is!

Walking and Talking

Things have been crazy busy as of late. I've been working hard and playing hard and enjoying March and new beginnings with a vengeance. Of course in doing so, I've managed to continue my streak of not working out and ultimately gaining weight. Not a good combo considering my upcoming vacation and cruise, but I still have a few weeks to make some changes!

Tonight after working late and running errands, I grabbed Chinese takeout en route to the house. T and I ate dinner and I asked if he wanted to go for a walk. T's been rather strange lately, from wanting nothing to do with mom in public to wanting nothing but attention in private. With less than two weeks left until the official teenage years, I'm embracing it all and taking what I can get! He was more than eager and willing to go for a walk and brought his basketball along to bounce while we walked and talked.

Back when I was training for the Breast Cancer 3 Day, T would walk about 3-4 miles with me, that was 2007 when he was more malleable! We enjoyed the pleasant evening and talked about school and his upcoming birthday. We talked about friends and tales and woes. We meandered up and down sidewalks, over cracks and across streets. He bounced his ball and we talked and talked and talked. I figured after about 30 minutes, he would be done. He wanted to continue. Even so much as to say that we need to walk more often, "like every day Mom!"

Of course I'm all for the exercise. Besides, it seems like with the winter and our personal laptops since the late fall, we've done less and less together. Of course things will get busy with baseball season but for now, I'll embrace every opportunity that I have to engage with my son!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Horoscope 3/3/2010

Overview for daily horoscope, Scorpio, March 3, 2010:

Quickie:
Don't be scared of your deepest emotions; feel and understand them.

Overview:
Someone you care about is slipping away -- but only temporarily. If you let go for the time being, you can expect your relationship to be even stronger when you do eventually reunite.

Bribery

I may not be beneath bribery. Seeing that I feel I've hit rock bottom, an all time low for me personally with assessing others, motivations and following my own instincts and compromising who I am and my morals and values, I recently succumbed to bribery.

Apparently I can get pretty low. (Just don't ask me to do the limbo - I do have my limits on LOW!)

It's about the time for the annual ping pong tournament. Again, my son, the natural athlete who hasn't played in months, is now ready to practice for his tournament. He was able to play with DK quite a bit to work on serves and spins and forehands and backhands. I steered clear of the whole practicing. Afterall committing to a day of aggressive ping pong play is not really where I want to spend an entire day of a tournament. Fortunately bringing a water bottle beverage was recommended! Ok, I'm kidding - well it was recommended, but other than crystal light flavored water, that's all I'll be consuming.

T and I hit the ball around for a while Sunday night. I totally ripped on myself last night about how generous he was to not make me cry! We didn't even keep score, since there was no reason to acknowledge how much he could crush me if he wanted. Good thing I've taught him manners and being a good sport!

So I've been trying to convince friends to fall victim of his ping pong attack. I called JC since we've been chatting on occasion since seeing each other a month or so ago. I offered him a six pack. He said I needed to throw in a six pack and dinner. Sigh. Seriously, over ping pong? What a hard bargain. Another friend of mine will be in town and he's willing to succumb to the killing although he also asked for dinner. I think he understands that isn't part of the deal - but I think I better come up with something, just in case. Then again, he and I had a really good conversation about the BS that I've been struggling with and he offered to listen and be a good friend. So we'll grab lunch - so that should take care of me having to cook, right?

What are you willing to do for your child?

Cider - Life is Good

Sometimes, it's about embracing the small things in life that bring a smile to your face. Ok, I really have an unlimited array of things that do this, but one thing I've been craving...

Cider. A good Berry Cider from my favorite brewery.

After three failed attempts and craving a glass since late December and attempting to fill the need with apple cider from Hardcore, Strongbow and another brewery, I'm ecstatic to learn that Berry Cider is back.

All is well in my world.

Hookie

I wish I could actually admit that I am going to play hookie from work. The reality is, I'm not. I've earned the time off from working late three nights in a row - and seeing that I don't earn overtime (except for rare times where the sky is falling) I have to "adjust" my schedule. So I'm planning on taking Friday off.

It's just a matter of what to do. So many choices, but my Saturday plans affect the ability to see and explore the world all in a day. Then there is the reality that I'm going back to my practical ways. Initially we had considered going to the casino - I love slots - but this adventure was to play bingo. I haven't played bingo (with the exception of the bingo work lunch a few weeks back) in well in a decade or so. I vaguely think my mom and I have gone once when I was an adult (in memory of my grandmother) but the most predominant memory was when I was 11 and won playing in Canada. Of course, that wasn't at a casino. Unfortunately the closest casino is over 1.5 hours away that offers bingo, which then leads me to be practical and just play bingo locally.

We have also discussed a train ride to Chicago for the day to grab lunch. Practicality reigns strong there too. Why not just drive? Why invest five to six hours for lunch - when we could do lunch somewhere cool, more local?

There's the discussion of a day trip to Detroit. Hit a few museums. Which would also include hitting one of my favorite restaurants en route.

While the options can be endless, the time constraints of my next commitments make things difficult. And besides, I think I'm feeling that my caution to the wind attitude of living in the moment was a complete and utter failure. Maybe it's time to listen to the gut instinct and be practical and realistic while being fun and adventurous.

Shirked Responsibilities

This morning all I could think of was that, "I suck". I'm feeling like a failure on so many levels as of late. However, this too shall pass.

Sometimes with my job I welcome new responsibilities and tasks but quickly find that they aren't necessary or appropriate. So it isn't that I'm queen of delegation, it's more a matter of identifying the reality and bottomline of what needs to be done. Which more often than not, doesn't have anything to do with me or what I can do. However, there are other times, especially when it comes to training, that I seem to want to shirk my responsibility.

While I can clearly meet one on one with individuals and families that I work with, I shy away from groups. Teaching a class of eager, or not so eager, participants gives me that cold feet, sweaty palm, nauseous feeling of the great potential of failure and disappointment that seems to linger around the corner at all times.

Due to poor anticipated participation the last training I was to teach, was cancelled. The next training I have to teach is in a couple weeks. Due to my son having his baseball clinic/tryouts I had to switch the time of my training from late in the day to the beginning. Again, feeling the pressure of not only making coffee (which I've never consumed in my life - but used to make instant for my mom and pots at my first employer) but actively engaging and entertaining a group of victims, I mean trainees, first. I would have preferred to have the last portion of the training, when participants are eager to leave and call it a day. Therefore, who really cares how poorly I do or what I teach???

The issue? Last night at dinner my son said, "I won't be going to my clinic." What?

Apparently when my son received a Blue Ribbon for his website for the National History Day competition, he advanced to Regionals. This I knew. The details, I didn't know or forgot or...because in searching the web, I learned that the assignment information distributed in October said that if your child advances the competition will be in March. I guess at that time I was suppose to put it on my calendar, just in case. (Which I have now done that IF he advances to the state and National level - since I'm a mom that looks in advance, ya know!)

Fortunately I work with a great coalition of people. I was able to completely switch that training date to a later date. I really am not trying to shirk my responsibilities as a trainer or a mother and I'm so fortunate that it worked out!

I even got out of training the morning sessions and will pick up the last session of the afternoon. Granted it's in the middle of a Saturday, but whatelse did I have better to do anyway?